GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! And keep talking that mess, that’s fine. But could you walk and talk at the same time? LET’S GO TO PRESS.
A man was stabbed yesterday on the Yellow MAX line near the Kenton neighborhood; he’s expected to survive.
Related: Prosecutors have released more information about what led up to the MAX stabbing attack earlier in the year by Jeremy Christian. The DA says that before the attack, Christian was shoving passengers and yelling about “decapitating heads.”
Because they are garbage people who hate their constituents, the GOP are trying to kill Obamacare by sneaking it into their tax reform legislation.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions got caught lying to Congress about a meeting where the Trump campaign talked about sending Trump to Moscow—and is now trying to sell another lie that he “didn’t recollect the meeting.”
Meanwhile, Jeff Sessions is doubling down on his personal corruption by suggesting a special counsel investigation of Hillary Clinton. (Politically motivated much?)
The investigation would look into the already debunked Uranium deal that Clinton was thought (by dummies) to be involved with—but even Fox News’ Shepard Smith spent time on his show debunking the idea again. (As you might suspect, his dummy viewers were not happy.)
In this week’s gun-fueled mass murder, a man killed four people on a rampage in Northern California and would’ve murdered many school children had the teachers not initiated a lockdown. (As you can see, it’s our teachers who are now tasked with saving children, since the NRA and the GOP offer direct support to these killers.)
And just to prove his lack of sympathy for the victims of gun violence, President Trump tweeted his condolences—about the wrong mass shooting.
.@RepCohen: “We believe that President Trump has violated the Constitution, and we’ve introduced five articles of impeachment.” pic.twitter.com/nC7bdnhYqR
— ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) November 15, 2017
The state-run North Korean newspaper is PISSED about Trump calling Kim Jong Un “short and fat” and says he deserves the death penalty.
In a “not a coup” coup, the Zimbabwe military has removed President Mugabe from office after he tried to name his wife as his successor.
A Dallas assistant district attorney is fired after drunkenly berating an Uber driver and promising that cops would “fuck him up.”
After insulting the NFL players who protest the National Anthem to bring attention to Black Lives Matter, Papa John’s pizza is furiously backpedaling to avoid bankruptcy.
Now let’s look outside at the WEATHER: A very rainy morning with a high of 49, but the showers are tapering off later this week.
And finally, here’s a great metaphor for the ultimate demise of the patriarchy: A female mantis devouring a male in the most graphic way possible.
