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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! And if I don’t let you know, then I won’t be for real. I could be wrong, but I feel like something could be going on. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
On a regular basis, Donald Trump conducted the daily business of running the country while writing checks to finance illegal coverups. This is your daily reminder that Trump is as CORRUPT AS FUCK.
The New York Military Academy was ordered to hide Donald Trump’s high school records just days after he demanded that Barack Obama release his to prove he wasn’t a “terrible student.” Here’s your daily reminder that Trump was just as CORRUPT AS FUCK then as he is now.
Trump has dismissed House Democrats’ request for 81 documents that could prove he intended to obstruct justice while in office. Why? Say it loud for the back section: He is CORRUPT AS FUCK.
New York state regulators have subpoenaed Trump’s insurance broker after suspicions arose that he lied about his wealth to insurance companies… because he is CAF!
And according to this poll, a lot of people—64 percent of all Americans—agree that Donald Trump is as CORRUPT AS FUCK.
RELATED:
Michael Cohen returns to Congress for more closed-door testimony https://t.co/9WXbpmWSXH
— TIME (@TIME) March 6, 2019
Despite Trump’s many promises to the contrary, he has been unable to shrink the trade deficit—and in fact it’s exploded to the largest figure in our country’s history.
DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen is currently testifying before a House committee to defend Trump’s indefensible emergency border wall declaration.
Following pressure from the left, the House is postponing a vote that would rebuke Rep. Ilhan Omar for her comments on Israel.
Singer R. Kelly—accused of sexually assaulting several women—sat down for a screaming, defensive, and expletive-laden interview this morning on CBS.
The FDA has approved a new antidepressant nasal spray that could help depression sufferers in hours rather than weeks or months as with current medication.
According to NASA, two women will go on history’s first all-female spacewalk at the International Space Station.
IN LOCAL NEWS: The O has the story of a 9-month-old child who died in an Oregon day care during last year’s gubernatorial race, but the story was kept quiet by the state.
The Oregon Legislature signed off on a $1.3 million settlement to nine women who suffered sexual harassment at the capitol.
In “sad trombone” news: “Fred Meyer loss prevention manager found guilty of stealing nearly $230k from Portland store.”
A local Proud Boy member quits his “club” as well as Patriot Prayer, and to prove he’s serious, burns his Ralph Ellis Proud Boy shirt. (Why do these people think that burning things is a effective method to prove they aren’t idiots?)
Look, you’re curious about what these monster truck shows are all about, right? Then don’t miss our Ciara Dolan’s VERY informative and entertaining review of MONSTER JAAAAAAAM!
Now let’s look at this WEATHER: Look out for freezing rain this morning, but otherwise expect another COLD day with showers and a high of 38.
And finally, in the battle of “who owns this fucking couch” the final score was Owl-1, Cat-zip.
Ralph Ellis? Perry Ellis? Nope, those dinguses wear Fred Perry shirts. Time to brush up on your hate group fashion trends.