when animals attack ii: more attacking animals
Just when you think it’s safe to go back into the water, jungle, forest, wilderness, swamp or whatever–you’re wrong! Because there, lying in wait, are animalsÉ and they’re ready to attack again. With a surprisingly human thirst for revenge and with astonishingly human-like focus and motivation, the beasts are coming for you, human, and they’re not happy. They are, for the most part, hungry.
– Orca (1977)–We humans cheered when the late, great Chuck Bronson wasted people for fucking with his family, so why is this whale a “bad guy” when he does it? Richard Harris–whose presence in this film proves beyond a doubt he had a drinking problem–stars as Captain Nolan, who battles a killer whale that will stop at nothing until he is revenged.
– Claws (1977)–A grizzly bear, wounded and left to die by hunters, slaughters Alaskans to satiate his bear-taste for bear-revenge. Warning: This movie is “Out of Print” and will require a $100 deposit at Movie Madness unless you’ve been there like 50 times–even if you’re a very important Mercury reporter. Otherwise, I guess you’ll just have to grin and bear it.
– Anaconda (1997)–A star-studded cast including Jon Voight, Ice Cube, J.LO, and Owen Wilson take on a gigantic snake with a ravenously serious craving for humans. This Amazonian river rampage includes plenty of “Is that a vine or a snake?” scenes. While the action movie one-liner is all but passé, I never quite tire of Ice Cube addressing a 40 some-foot anaconda as “bitch”.
– Night of the Lepus (1972)–Giant, bloodthirsty, genetically altered Arizona jackrabbits declare, “This ain’t no Watership Down, motherfucker!!” as they rip a small nowhere town a new one. Loosely based on KFC’s unpublished chicken-altering campaign, this screen gem is sure to leave you suspicious of Trix, Bugs, and all things Duracell. LANCE CHESS