[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]

No one has tagged my fence in the 13 years I’ve lived here. Until you, shithead. Did you realize that the wood fence was stained, not painted? So I can’t paint over your ugly scrawl unless I want to paint the entire fence a new color? Are we just tagging people’s homes now? Isn’t there some tagger code of conduct that says you only tag shit like underpasses and businesses THAT CAN EASILY BE REPAINTED? Do you think I can afford to buy new gallons of wood stain in this economy?! Jesus Christ. I know these are hard times but don’t be an asshole. We’re all struggling. Fuck you.—Anonymous

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