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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Get ready for a sunny-sun week with highs topping out at 87 today and hovering around the upper 70s to low 80s for the rest of your work week. And if you ask me, that’s the perfect kind of weather to enjoy the Mercury’s Summer of Slushies happening all month long! Picture it: Frosty, frozen, boozy slushies concocted by 25 of your fave creative bartenders… and they’re only $10 a pop! See? Life is worth living after all! And now? Let’s make life worth living with some NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• As you may have noticed, the current Portland controversy du jour is the Moda Center, in which the Blazers’ new owner is trying to get the city to fork over $120 million to give the arena a state-of-the-art makeover, while not pitching in even one penny to help. But there’s a LOT more to this drama than that, and if you feel like you’re arriving late to the story and want to make your own decision about it, please read the Mercury’s detailed and eye-opening explainer from our Courtney Vaughn, which lays out all the facts—along with lots of stuff you probably weren’t aware of!
• And the Moda drama continues! Two Portland city councilors who skipped a city work session to attend a Portland Metro Chamber event at the Moda Center last month are now facing a state ethics complaint. Councilors Olivia Clark and Loretta Smith both attended the June 24 event (or billionaire pep rally, if you prefer), which featured Trail Blazers owner and notorious cheapskate Tom Dundon as a guest speaker. Event tickets were $350, but the Metro Chamber said councilors could attend for free. However, an Oregon Government Ethics Complaint alleges the free tickets exceed the state’s $50 gift limit for public officials, which could spell trouble for the councilors. Whoopsy-doodle! I guess this is what happens when you’re diddling around with billionaires instead of doing your job. Our Jeremiah Hayden has that embarrassing story.
• Today in “we told you so!”: As is customary, Oregon celebrated the July 4th weekend by blowing up fireworks (despite constant pleading from rational people) and letting their asses hang out in general, causing significant damage to property and themselves. Need some examples? Here we go: Fireworks were the suspected cause of a rooftop fire at NW 14th and Raleigh on Sunday night. Meanwhile, in Canby, a bunch of kids shooting off fireworks started a grass fire, which was fortunately put out by firefighters before it could spread. In Lincoln City, eight suspects have been charged with setting a raging brushfire with fireworks, and authorities have warned nearby residents they may need to evacuate. In Salem, five people were hospitalized after shooting off illegal mortars—causing an explosion so big it damaged nearby houses and shattered car windshields. And while not directly related to fireworks, near Sauvie Island, a woman passenger died on July 4th after the 33-foot cabin cruiser crashed into a dock she was in ran ashore. The other four occupants of the boat were not severely injured, and police have not ruled out inebriation as the cause of the accident. In other July 4th news, my dog Kiko was in a panic for three straight days thanks to heartless shitheads who illegally shot off continuous rounds of fireworks in order to justify their warped, insecure sense of masculinity. You know who you are, you silly babies. And fuck you.
• Oh, and while we’re on the subject: America turned 250 over the weekend. Yaaaaaaaay. Anyway, it’s become apparent that this country values entertainment over decorum. In his latest edition of THE BLACK BYLINE, Donovan Scribes imagines Thomas Jefferson—who fathered children with his Black slave—as the perfect modern-day guest on the Maury Povich show, and draws a through line from Black exploitation in the media to Trump’s UFC cage fight on the White House lawn. (In short, our American presidents have always loved a mess.)
IN NATIONAL AND WORLD NEWS:
• In yet another example of glaring FIFA corruption, the organization reversed a red card suspension for leading scorer Folarin Balogun of the U.S. team after President Trump called FIFA president Gianni Infantino and asked him to overrule the decision. Balogun was scheduled to miss tonight’s game against Belgium after the player clearly and dangerously fouled Tarik Muharemović during the U.S. game against Bosnia-Herzegovina. Belgium is rightly losing their minds over the decision, and Trump—who you’ll remember received a made-up “peace prize” from FIFA after no one would give him a Nobel prize—will be the reason no one will trust the outcome of this match. Once again, and to the surprise of no one, TRUMP RUINS EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES WITH HIS TINY ORANGE FINGERS.
Find out more about tonight’s exciting U.S. vs. Belgium game (and where to watch it) from our Janey Wong at EverOut!
• Trump also claimed he was responsible for canceling an evacuation order at his July 4th “Salute to America” event on the National Mall, after sweltering heat and dangerous thunderstorms put tens of thousands of attendees in danger. The evacuation was ordered as lightning crashed and winds picked up at 7 pm, as much of the confused crowd left the grounds and had trouble finding places to safely shelter. At around 9 pm, Trump rescinded the evacuation order before the danger had passed, so he could make his pre-planned rambling speech before a very diminished crowd. (And that is your “Ain’t That America” metaphor of the day.)
• A weeklong preliminary hearing is kicking off today for Tyler Robinson, the man accused of killing right-wing transphobic agitator Charlie Kirk. Prosecutors say they will present enough evidence to prove that Robinson should be put on trial for the crime, and if found guilty, whether or not he should be given the death penalty.
• While not much has been revealed about the July 3rd Madison Square Garden wedding of Taylor Swift and her beefy betrothed Travis Kelce, the lucky guests have started spilling the beans. The wedding was officiated by Adam Sandler (yes, THAT Adam Sandler), and the pop star’s “man of honor” was her brother Austin Swift. The reception was reportedly a banger as well, with performances by Paul McCartney and Stevie Nicks, and attendees which included Tom Hanks, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Spielberg, Fergie (who invited her?), and many more high profile celebs. They reportedly even had a raffle for designer handbags and a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle, which the couple famously rode in on their first date. By contrast, my first wedding included zero celebrities (if you don’t count me), bowls of popcorn and tater tots, and a bridesmaid who delivered a drunken toast warning the bride that she was making “the worst mistake” of her life. In fairness, she was not completely wrong.
• And finally… if you have not watched Love Island, and want to know what all the fuss is about, this video is for you.
