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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Who’s ready for some cooler temperatures this week? While you can expect a fairly normal 83 degrees today with mostly sunny skies, clouds roll in on Tuesday with a chance of showers through Thursday and highs in the mid-60s. Waitasecond… does this mean that fall is heading our way? I’M NOT READY FOR SUMMER TO END AND PUMPKIN SPICE SEASON TO BEGIN! 😭(Pssst. I know opinions vary on this subject, but I happen to be right on this one.) And now let’s talk about some NEWS!
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• And here they go again! (And by “they,” I mean the usual group of wealthy real estate developers and big business owners who are FAH-urious they don’t have the same control over city business that they used to.) There’s yet another new political coalition in town with the jaunty name of Go Portland Go, which claims it’s currently pooling resources for the upcoming November election in order to boost “leaders who can actually run a progressive city.” HOWEVER! Despite using seemingly progressive terminology and calling itself a “grassroots coalition,” the effort is largely backed by (surprise!) Portland’s moneyed political actors, many of whom have bankrolled fights against progressive policy for years. And you won’t believe some of the local businesses and restaurants who have been tricked by this latest grift from the same interests who have also financed People for Portland and Portland for Progress. Take a peek into the shadows and find out more from our Jeremiah Hayden and Katherine Chew Hamilton!
• If you were thinking about hopping into the river this week… proceed with caution, homey! On Friday the Oregon Health Authority (OHA) issued a word of warning saying that the lime-green, glowing algae blooms known as cyanotoxins have escaped from their point of origin in the Ross Island Lagoon, and have drifted into other parts of the Willamette. While the OHA noted that the water is still in the safe zone for human recreational use, they advise keeping your pets out of the river to keep them healthy. Want to know more about the effects of cyanotoxins, and what’s being done to stop it? Check out our reporting from Abe Asher in the Mercury’s Climate Issue… on the streets right now!
• In an event that is quintessentially Portland, on Sunday afternoon hundreds of folks gathered in a Southeast neighborhood to watch the Second Annual Parallel Parking competition… which is exactly what you think. Lots of cars trucks (and even a motorcycle and baby stroller) lined up for five blocks to prove who was the best at sliding their vehicle in between two parked cars (backup cameras not permitted), seeing how close they could get to the curb, and how quickly they could do it. This year’s grand prize winner was Portlander Kyle Kaufman, who whipped his ride into the spot in 16 seconds flat (besting last year’s record of 17 seconds) and scoring an impressive 85.72. Even more impressive? His family was also in the car, meaning he certainly had to contend with backseat drivers. Congrats, Kyle!
• Labor Day weekend is rapidly approaching, which means what? It’s Bumbershoot time again, bay-bee! The long-running, constantly morphing music festival that takes place September 5th and 6th at Seattle Center is just a week away, capping off the unofficial end of summer with a bang. Sadly, Portland doesn’t have our own end-of-summer blowout, but our northern sister has our backs—if we’re willing to make the three-hour trek. Holly Hazelwood makes the case for why you should head to Seattle for Blood Orange, Bikini Kill, De La Soul, Die Spitz, Peaches, and more.
• Need more music? YES, YOU DO. This week’s Spin Cycle—Ryan J. Prado’s regular reviews of the latest hot albums—features new releases from Portland jazz multi-instrumentalist Rebecca Sanborn, gothy synth-pop from Black Marble, and chilled-out rock from Shintaro Sakamoto, formerly of Japanese psych-rock group Yura Yura Teikoku. Listen up, and enjoy.
IN NATIONAL AND WORLD NEWS:
• Fifteen people are missing and one person is dead following a flash flood that swept through the Grand Canyon on Sunday. Flash floods are a particular danger for the popular visitor attraction during the canyon’s rainy season, and more than 60 people had to be airlifted to safety. Rescue operations are continuing to locate the missing tourists.
• Meanwhile, the terror in Nepal continues after catastrophic flooding killed at least 900, with more than 4,700 people currently missing. Search and rescue operations are still underway, but as the mud hardens, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to locate survivors. Meanwhile, authorities suspect that hundreds of workers are trapped in underground tunnels at 12 hydropower sites buried underneath the mud. While the employees did reportedly have some access to oxygen, after six days of being trapped, hopes for a rescue are diminishing.
• Because he is a child and all-around unserious person, late last week, President Trump struck back at Canada in the midst of crumbling tariff negotiations by renaming Lake Ontario to “Lake America”—a move Google maps has adopted for U.S. users. You may recall that Trump also signed an order last year in which he renamed the Gulf of Mexico as “Gulf of America” for similarly stupid reasons. Trump says he decided to rename Lake Ontario—originally named by the Indigenous Iroquoian people— because “Canada has been ripping us off for a long time on trade” (which of course makes less than zero sense). Meanwhile Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney laughed off the unserious president’s nonsense, putting up a billboard near Grimsby, Ontario, that reads “Lake Ontario. Now and Always.”
• In other “unserious president” news: President Trump is threatening to call for an FCC investigation into NBC journalist and Meet the Press host Kristen Welker for allegedly saying that his political endorsements often produce “mixed results.” (Which is categorically true by any metric… but you know… that’s Trump for you.) The president crashed out on social media yesterday, going into a ridiculously long rant about how the “Press is a Disgrace to our Nation” and that, actually, his political picks are the “strongest in the History of Politics.” As it turns out, Welk said nothing of the sort during Meet the Press yesterday, but did offer some reporting in a pre-show live shot on NBC’s local D.C. affiliate, in which she said that Trump continues to “loom large” over the nation’s elections, and that while he’s had “some mixed results,” his endorsement of former Sen. Lindsey Graham’s sister, Darline Graham, helped her secure a primary win in South Carolina. Learn how to take a compliment, my dude!
• And finally… I hope your week is as exciting as this kid’s birthday party. (On second thought, maybe this is a bit much.)
