Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
I can’t help myself to ask, “why bother“ as sit here on another late October Sunday morning listening to rain pelt off the window after a sleep deprived night out. It is that time of year again where the real scary part of the season is everyone’s baseline anxiety derived from comparing themselves to one another in their sexy costumes. This past weekend I was “fortunate” enough to be invited to a house party to not only be left out of a group costume due to a high school drama level pettiness, but also be gas lit on everyone doing sexy and I was in a onesie … hooray! This whole experience got me thinking how silly the season is, maybe it is the mindless consumerism, tacky decorations or possibly the endless one up’ing each outer that goes on with adult house parties — translates as “come over and see how we live” you broke mother f’ers.
Honestly it all feels so performative. Maybe that is just the byproduct of the transplant polly types trying to hard to be cool without actually being cool? For what it is worth, I do not claim to be the ultimate judge of coolness, but I can say with conviction that having some cut rate DJ is not going to win any great house party vibes from me. But seriously, please create a space that feels authentic, it is not like everyone spent several hours getting their fit on only to come out fashionably late for maybe two hours for nothing. Sure I can take a billon photos of you doing poses like a teenager for your “Look at how much fun we had” Instagram post, 40s are the new 20s or something to that effect, right?
Why did I even bother you ask? Because I am must be a masochist to these types of things and being quietly rejected to further conversations because, no, I won’t sleep with you and your long term partner. Meh, oh well, at least I got to see several selection of the new playthings that totally wasn’t attempts on making the recent exes jealous all transpire before heading out to laugh about the absurdity of it all.—Anonymous