Sinister Cinema Short Film Contest
Think you’ve got what it takes to be a hot-shot filmmaker? Prove it, Spielberg! Enter Sabala’s Short Film Contest, the latest addition to Sabala’s Sinister Cinema. There are, of course, some rules: First, your film has to be under four minutes in length. Second, it all has to be done in one shot. No cuts, no edits, no 24-style multiple cameras. Third, it has to follow this week’s theme, which–as chosen by film critic David Walker–is “a bird in the hand.” (What the hell does that mean? Hey–you’re the filmmaker! You get to figure it out!) Finally, you only have until Sunday the 18th! Get crackin’, put your film on DVD, and get it to Sabala’s by 5 pm on Sunday, where it’ll be screened and judged later that night, along with the rest of Sinister Cinema’s home-brewed offerings.
2 POP Summer Film Series
This grab bag of locally-made short films deals with Portland filmmakers’ perspectives on such subjects as kitchenware, Portland housing, and Paris Hilton. The Know
* Airplane!
Sadly, I learned what a blowjob is from this movie. Even though at the ripe age of 10 I didn’t understand the exact size and scope of the sight gag, I still laughed when the flight attendant (Julie Hagerty) gets caught blowing up an emergency, inflatable pilot. Even now, with a couple decades of maturity and a few blowjobs under my belt, that scene–and for that matter, the film itself–is still funnier than dumb slapstick. This screening at the Hollywood Theater is presented as a benefit for Basic Rights Oregon by Food Fight! Vegan Grocery, Otsu Vegan Boutique, Veloshop Bicycles, and Herbivore magazine. (Phil Busse) Hollywood Theatre, Kennedy School
* Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
It’s got the most threadbare of plots, yet has more out-loud laffs per capita than any other movie in recent memory. It’s the mid-’70s, and Ron Burgundy (SNL‘s Will Ferrell) is San Diego’s top local news anchorman who gets more ass than a toilet seat. However, his idyllic life is shattered when anchorwoman Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) starts gunning for his seat. Written by Ferrell and SNL scribe Adam McKay, Anchorman plays like an extended sketch that actually works. It has an amazingly funny supporting cast–especially Steven Carell (The Daily Show), who lands the most laughs with his incredibly bizarre portrayal of a mentally retarded meteorologist. (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Regal Cinemas, etc.
* Before Sunset
The first hour of this sequel is so excruciating that one might be inclined to yell “Someone, please punch my lights out!” But after that, it’s actually not so bad. Once you resign yourself to being on a horribly pretentious date with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, and you suspend disbelief long enough to accept them as real characters and former lovers, the movie becomes better than okay. Their stories are spiked with believable elements of real life–they’re both depressed, deflated, and have other lovers–and what happens to them now becomes a legitimate concern. The film evolves into something more compelling and romantic than trite, and in the end a sweet and complex love story finally gets its ending. (Katie Shimer) Fox Tower 10
The Black Pirate
A silent film from 1926, featuring Douglas Fairbanks as a nobleman who pretends to be a pirate in order to avenge his father’s death. Old Town Pizza
* Blazing Saddles
Mel Brooks is a complete jackass: Everything he touches turns to cliché. He assembles his movies from the wreckage of cultural stereotypes–racial, ethnic, sexual–and then chews on the scenery. What’s funnier than a self-mocking Jewish guy making a western movie with a black lead playing a sheriff dressed up in stolen Ku Klux Klan attire? Probably a lot of things, but this movie is actually a fucking hilarious time. Laurelhurst
Bring Your Dog to the Movies Day
Have you ever sat in a dark, lonely theater, thinking “Geez, this movie sure would be better if [insert your dog’s name here] was here to enjoy it with me!”? Well, stop your mopin’, sourpuss, ’cause now you can take your dog to the movies! “Bring Your Dog to the Movies Day” features 80 minutes of classic dog movies for you and your dog, plus the one thing Fido will really get excited about… free doggy treats! Get there early, though–it’s limited to the first 50 dogs. Clinton Street Theater
Cab for Three
When Ulises’ (Alejandro Trejo) taxi is commandeered by thieves, he’s forced to assist them with their crimes. But when Ulises realizes that he’s made more money in a night than he has in the past few months, his attitude at being victimized starts to change. Whitsell Auditorium
A Cinderella Story See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.
The Clearing
At the opening of The Clearing two men are shown to be living very different lives. Arnold Mack (Willem Dafoe) eats cereal for breakfast and is obviously just scraping by, while Wayne Hayes (Robert Redford) eats a fancy breakfast by the pool. As Wayne pulls out of the driveway, Arnold talks his way into Wayne’s fancy car and kidnaps him. When it comes down to it, Arnold’s crime is very impressive. It’s quite complex, very well thought-out, and goes off without a hitch. If the movie were about the crime, then Arnold would have been the main character. Instead, this is an art-house film where the kidnapping triggers different ruminations on how hard it is to keep a marriage fresh, making Wayne the central character. It’s all very depressing. What a waste of a slick, well-executed kidnapping. (Andy Spletzer) City Center 12, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place Stadium 6
* The Control Room
According to Jehane Noujaim, the director of Control Room (which concerns Al Jazeera’s coverage of the early stages of the Iraq War II), the idea of setting up a satellite news agency in Qatar came from an American think tank that believed it would help modernize the Arab world, and that a modernized Arab world would be less hostile to America and its interests. The thinkers were correct in the sense that the news agency–Al Jazeera–has helped modernize the Arab world, but not in the way they imagined. (Charles Mudede) Fox Tower 10
* De-Lovely
This fascinating biography of songwriter Cole Porter does more than trumpet his gift for stunning sentimentality: the story revolves around Cole’s (Kevin Kline) relationship with his wife (Ashley Judd), an engagement that grows tense as he carries out homosexual affairs with a dancer and several hunky Hollywood actors. (Evan James) Pioneer Place Stadium 6
Decrypter See review this issue. Clinton Street Theater
* Delicatessen
What with Mad Cow and Foot-and-Mouth and Ebola and Chlamydia, everyone is going to have to refrain from eating beef. But whatever will the carnivores of the world do? This post-apocalyptic film maps it out for you: EAT PEOPLE! Solves the population problem, Texans can turn it into an industry, everybody’s happy. Directors Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro were far ahead of their time with this brilliant, artful precursor to City of Lost Children. (Julianne Shepherd) Blind Onion
The Door in the Floor
Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger play a husband and wife who have encountered a horrible tragedy which is destroying their marriage. The film is based on the John Irving novel, although it strays wildly from the text, but not to its advantage. Also not working to the film’s advantage is the annoying lisp Bridges picked up somewhere and Kim Basinger’s overly morose performance. The scenes I did enjoy involved Basinger fucking a teenager, or Basinger walking in on the teenager jerking off. Overall, not a terrible film, but not all that good either. (Katie Shimer) Fox Tower 10
Electric Boogie
An exceedingly rare 1983 documentary about New York kids breakdancing. Clinton Street Theater
Facing Windows
Pro or con: Bringing home old men you find wandering the streets. That’s the quandary Giovanna (Giovanna Mezzogiorno) finds herself in when her husband Filippo (Filippo Nigro) brings home an old man. As the old guy (Massimo Girotti) begins to become more and more coherent, Giovanna also must deal with her growing attraction to her single neighbor, Lorenzo (Raoul Bova). Soon, Giovanna finds herself with yet another conundrum–adultery: good or bad? Fox Tower 10
* Fahrenheit 9/11
While Bush triple-bogies the Iraq situation, Michael Moore hits a hole in one. Regal Cinemas, etc.
Festival of World Music
Sure, this film features music from all over the globe, but let’s cut to the chase–the real draw here is that it also features the theme song from Popeye… sung in Norwegian. Anyone want to argue against globalization now? Didn’t think so. Clinton Street Theater
* Fletch
When was the last time you heard the name “Chevy Chase”? Been a while, hasn’t it? Well, get ready to hear it again in conjunction with Fletch, featuring Chase (in his c. 1985 prime) as a detective who changes identities more often than he changes channels. Presented with Repo Man, pizza, and beer by Clinton St. programmer Seth Sonstein as part of “Seth’s B-Day Bash.” Clinton Street Theater
* Gummo
Gummo meanders plotlessly in what feels like real time through the lives of one boy’s sordid acquaintances in the trashy ass-end of an Ohio town. Many who saw the film considered it a freakshow for its documentary–like wallowing in debased and aimless lives, seeming to merely amplify the daily reality of its nonprofessional actors. But if one engages rather than pities its subjects, the film reveals itself as heartrendingly sympathetic. (Grant Cogswell) Fifth Avenue Cinemas
Hillbillies in Hollywood
Local film archivist Dennis Nyback hits a gusher of thigh-slappin’, hee-hawin’, straw-chewin’ fun: HILLBILLIES! Featuring rare musical moments from Johnny Cash to Hank Williams to toothless banjo players. Clinton Street Theater
I, Robot See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.
* I’m Not Scared
In an isolated village in southern Italy, 10 year old Michele (Giuseppe Cristiano) gradually uncovers an inhumane and jarring secret about his family. Michele’s distrust of the people around him grows, and the young actor skillfully expresses the revelatory pain that arrives with the betrayal of unflinching childhood trust. (Evan James) Laurelhurst
* Independent Filmmaker Lecture Series
The latest in a series of independent filmmaker lectures. This week, Portland-based Archipelago Films will screen their latest, The Beautiful and the Fine which focuses on “bio-collectors”–those who fanatically compile massive amounts of some sort of life, be it tulips, fish, or carnivorous plants. Fifth Avenue Cinemas
* King Arthur
The story: Arthur (Clive Owen) is the legendary leader of a ragtag band of “knights” (really, they’re just a bunch of Sarmatians who were pressed into 15 years of military service by their Roman conquerors), who defend the British countryside. On the eve of their freedom from conscription, this merry group is hoodwinked into going on one last mission. If you’re going to accept this film (and you are), it’s going to have to be on its merits as a dumb action picture. There are no big stars in King Arthur but if anyone in the film deserves to be one, it’s Clive Owen. His heroic performance in the lead role elevates the film beyond its own silly clichés and into the realm of respectability. (Sean Nelson)Regal Cinemas, etc.
* L’Âge D’Or
Luis Buñuel’s attack on the bourgeoisie shows a couple’s desperate attempts to consummate their relationship. A surreal collaboration with artist Salvador Dali, L’#229ge D’Or will be accompanied by their other (and even more surreal) film, Un Chien Andalou. Guild Theater
La Mentale: The Code
A 2002 French film following Dris (Samuel Le Bihan) as he gets out of prison and attempts to go the straight and narrow. But mob boss Yanis (Samy Naceri)–who also happens to be Dris’ cousin–ain’t having none of that. As Dris gets sucked back into his old life, those around him start to pay the price. Hollywood Theatre
* Life of Brian
Having seen Monty Python’s Life of Brian at least 10 times prior (but not for at least five years), I wondered if the film would still ring true to my atheist ears. Well, my brothers and sisters, I am here to testify that Brian still has many things to say. The film is one of the greatest religious satires of all time, with moments of hilarious double-talk and Python’s trademark absurdity and physical comedy. (Michael Svoboda) Hollywood Theatre
* Napoleon Dynamite
There are plenty of laughs to mine from the pseudo-tortured lives of realistically nerdy, unpopular, and just plain odd 14- to 18-year-olds, and as Napoleon Dynamite proves, young geek alienation is just as fun to parody as its grownup counterparts. (Jennifer Maerz) City Center 12, Fox Tower 10
Really the Blues
Filmed performances from Billie Holiday, Thelonius Monk, Lester Young, Bessie Smith, and others, all from 1929-1957. Clinton Street Theater
* Repo Man
After Otto’s (Emilo Estevez) life takes a quick tumble into the crapper, he gets a job reposessing cars. Craziness ensues in this 1984 comedy. Presented with Fletch, pizza, and beer by Clinton St. programmer Seth Sonstein as part of “Seth’s B-Day Bash.” Clinton Street Theater
Rocky Horror Picture Show
The biannual “Over 18” Rocky Horror. What does that mean? That means it’s time to party. Clinton Street Theater
* Sinister Cinema
More local films than you can shake a stick at, all in the comfort of your local watering hole, Sabala’s. Sabala’s Mt Tabor Theatre
Skin Horse
Filmed in Portland, this film noir follows alcoholic cop John Young (Chaney Kley), who gets caught up in a case involving an amateur pornographer (Andrew Dickson). As Young grows more and more involved in the sexually charged world he’s investigating, he finds himself falling for one of his suspects. Guild Theater
* Sleepover
Graduating eighth-grade girls are BOY CRAZY! They also HATE EACH OTHER! And that’s what this movie is about. Regal Cinemas, etc.
* Spider-Man 2
Picking up two years after the first film, Spider-Man 2 plays to the comics’ inimitable strength: nerdy Peter Parker’s (Tobey Maguire) daily balancing act of school, part time jobs, and wooing Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), even as he pulls on tights every night as Spider-Man. Unlike its banal predecessor, Spider-Man 2 feels lifted right out of the comics–this is great for comic fanboys, who will spend two hours in orgasmic glee, but mainstream audiences will be rewarded as well. This time around, director Sam Raimi and Sony demonstrate enough faith in their source material to make the sequel not only a valid adaptation of the comic, but also a legitimate film. (Erik Henriksen) Regal Cinemas, etc.
* The Story of the Weeping Camel
A fascinating look at modern life in the Mongolian desert, framed by the slightest of stories about camel relationships. Some of the staged animal interactions can get a little Disneyfied–you can almost hear Phil Collins wailing on the soundtrack–but this combination of narrative and documentary is otherwise irresistible. (Andrew Wright) Cinema 21
* Super Size Me
In an inspired bout of artistic commitment, Morgan Spurlock set aside a month during which he ate nothing but McDonald’s. As the movie progresses, a palpable sense of dread mounts, as Spurlock continues to stuff McNuggets and French fries in the face of terrible health reports. (Justin Sanders) Fox Tower 10
Two Fisted
Jason Sabala plays… Ty Sabala, an asskickin’ thug with a conscience who returns home to find things not how he left them. As only a huge, heavily tattooed streetfighter can, Sabala starts to set things right. Writer/director Todd E. Freeman’s direction is unquestionably stylish, and his visuals–consisting of rich, almost hallucinogenic colors–lend a sense of immense talent to the film. The film’s strongest points are its characters–namely, the darkly charming Sabala–and Two Fisted succeeds the most in its first hour, when it’s mostly a character study. But once the muddled revenge plot starts up, the film’s clunky pacing and tone start to work against it. Despite opening with such a viscerally promising roar, Two Fisted closes with a tired whimper. (Erik Henriksen) Sabala’s Mt Tabor Theatre
Word Wars
The film takes on four Scrabble diehards, offering a glance into their inarguably pathetic lifestyle. Only one of them is gainfully employed, so much of the tournament’s tension comes from the fact that its competitors could really, really use the top prize of $25,000. The charms of these characters are minimal, which isn’t surprising, considering their idiot savant-like obsession with honing a useless skill (they don’t care what all the words they know how to anagram actually mean). (Marjorie Skinner) Hollywood Theatre
* Young People’s Film & Video Festival
Film, video, animation and dramas; all by kids in grades K-12! This sort of thing is always a hoot, and probably better than half the films showing at Regal Cinemas.