OUT OF AFRICA

DEAR MERCURY—The July 5 article “Got Khat?” would have
been a decent and mildly amusing story—if written by a
12-year-old for his middle-school paper whose only experience outside
of his spoiled yuppie existence was reading On the Road. The
author DIDN’T even get khat—and then described how he got stoned
on another drug and… went to a DANCE CLUB here in Portland! No
mention of how the people in the Horn of Africa use the leaf with sugar
or peanuts. How the leaf, far from only being a “stimulant,” also
leaves its users incredibly tired, burned out, and dazed—to the
extent that the government of Djibouti made its use illegal after its
WIDESPREAD USE NEARLY SHUT DOWN its economy.

Don Lieber

LAUNDRY LIST

PORTLAND MERCURY—Shame on you for spoiling the end of
the new Harry Potter book by printing the spoiler prominently on
the cover of your latest issue [Cover, July 19]. I can’t understand how
you justify giving away which main character dies. And as for your
“Bike Issue” [Feature, July 19], five measly pages of mostly re-hashed
back patting doesn’t make an issue. There’s a lot more to cycling in
Portland than your “Bike Issue” would indicate. And the absence of the
BEST bike movie ever, The Triplets of Belleville, is nearly
criminal.

Michael Mann

HARRY POTTER FOR DUMMIES

EDITOR—I think that all of the pissed-off Harry Potter fans who wrote in grumpily protesting the Mercury‘s “spoiler” of
the last/latest in J.K. Rowling’s series deserve to win a special
something, simply because they are not, shall we say, the brightest
sparks in the Occlumen spell. I hope their unnecessary rage and panic
burned bright enough to light the copies of Deathly Hallows they
begrudgingly scanned in spite of themselves.

Jennifer Nobles

NERD FIGHT!

DEAR MERCURY—Zak Zaxon (not his real name, I assume)
wrote you a joke email about how Ms. Pac-Man is just about
memorizing five patterns [Letters, July 26]. Any true Pac-Man connoisseur knows that patterns are for Pac-Man. The whole point
of Ms. Pac-Man is that patterns don’t work and you have to react
to the ghosts. I’ll take on Zak and his Ms. Pac-Man pattern
strategy anytime.

Bjorn Warloe

BUSY BOWIE

DEAR MERCURY—How presumptuous of Megan Hickey and your
writers to assume that David Bowie owes her anything at all [Once More
with Feeling, July 26]. Many people have covered David Bowie songs over
the past five decades. Without his music, his skills, his
abilities to develop musical genres that were obscure before his
arrival, this flight of fancy Megan might just be out of a
job.

Monica Chase

TAMMY’S STREETS OF GOLD

TO THE EDITOR—Your reporting of the death of Tammy Faye
Messner is appalling [One Day at a Time, July 26]. Here is a lady who
literally gets off of her death bed when in the final stages of
terminal cancer to put on make-up, smile, and reach out to her audience
with a message of love. For you to call her a “zombie” is mean
spirited, heartless, and cruel. Furthermore, in heaven Tammy Faye does
not need gold-plated toilets. She is now walking on STREETS of
gold. 

Paula Nielsen

IMMIGRANTS ARE THE BEST

Thank you for your awesome issue on immigrants [“Best of Melting Pot
Portland,” Feature, July 26]. I love immigrants and their delicious
food and their stories of escape, and fuck all you fascist douchebags
who want to send them back to their war- and famine-torn countries.
People who immigrate to this country usually appreciate it a lot more
than us apathetic assholes who were born here, and if we take the time
to listen we might actually learn something from them about “family
values” or how to make Bi Bim Bop. We’re all immigrants, there’s plenty
of room for everyone. Party at my house.

Dan Kimbro

CONGRATULATIONS TO DAN for his immigrant appreciation! For his
open-minded and inclusive perspective, he wins two tickets to the
Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where hungry people
of various origins are welcome.