NOTHING WRONG WITH NASCAR
DEAR MERCURY—I love NASCAR, does that make me a
toothless hillbilly or an inbred half-wit? According to Wm. Steven
Humphrey it does [“NASCRAP,” I Love Television, Aug 9]. Mr. Humphrey
has probably never even attended a local race, let alone has enough
knowledge to criticize the entire fanbase of NASCAR. I challenge you,
Steven: watch an entire Daytona 500, or any REAL motor-sport, and I bet
you will feel like a complete asshole for writing an article as stupid
and thoughtless as the pile of shit you turned into your editor.
Brad Gerow
SARCASM 101
DEAR MERCURY—The author of last week’s I, Anonymous
[“Anti-Social Services,” Aug 23] should be given an award for her
bravery in speaking out against these so-called “rehabilitation”
facilities polluting our neighborhoods. I, myself, have been nearly
raped by these same monsters on several occasions. However, as vile and
disgusting as these beasts are, it is the people who operate these
facilities who are really to blame. The people who claim to help them
(who clearly are covering up for their own shameful lack of morals) are
only perpetuating the problem.
JAR JAR
SARCASM 201
DEAR “ANTI-SOCIAL SERVICES”—[I, Anonymous, Aug 23] You are a
Common Era heroine. These so called “citizens” should not be allowed to
leer as you purposefully cross the street to avoid passing too close to
them. Perhaps you should encourage your dog to lay more shit bombs on
the sidewalk so that these creeps will not only soil their hand-me-down
shoes, but will track it all through the Godforsaken facilities that
reportedly serve them. What ever happened to civil rights? I have the
right to sit on my porch and enjoy my evening mojito without being
reminded that there are those less fortunate than I.
The Lady in White
LETTING GO OF PORTLAND
DEAR MERCURY—It’s perfectly fitting that the street
originally named after our city has been renamed [“A Street by Any
Other Name, Feature, Aug 2]. Portland used to have a lot of blue-collar
jobs. And, therefore we used to have a lot of middle and lower class
citizens, a good percentage of which were black. Overall, Portland has
been a city populated by people of European descent. The bigger issue
has little to do with race, and everything to do with class and money.
The vibrant creative class that made it cool have either become
successful enough to afford it, or are being forced out (black ones and
white ones). There are other cities out there with cool architecture,
cheap houses, and governments poised to help citizens start independent
roasteries, dress shops, and organic food sources. Let go of Portland
Boulevard, and go.
Donovan Skirvin
I’LL SIGN ANYTHING
DEAR EDITOR—I’m a great believer in letting the voting public
decide issues whenever possible. Therefore, I have and will sign any
petition to put any issue before the voting public. As far as any
petition to refer gay rights legislation to the voters is concerned, I
will sign the petitions, if presented to me [“Know Thy Anti-Gay
Neighbor,” News, Aug 23], but, I will vote to allow the legislation to
become law. The possibility of publishing my name and address won’t
stop me from signing any petitions, now or in the future. And it won’t
change how I’ll vote on any given issue.
Paul Berg
NOT MY SIGNATURE
DEAR EDITOR—I just wanted to extend a huge thanks to Amy J.
Ruiz and her colleagues for featuring today’s article, “Sunday! Sunday!
Sunday!” [Feature, Aug 23]. Just last night I was interrupted making
dinner by a knock at my door. It was a man getting signatures to deny
gay marriage rights for the exact petition you spoke of in your
article. I cannot believe people waste their time to discriminate
against other human beings. I was furious, and frustrated we lived in a
neighborhood where people would sign that type of thing.
Joelle
CONGRATULATIONS TO JOELLE for winning this week’s Mercury
letter of the week! For her efforts, Joelle gets two tickets to the
Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where your meal
will likely not be interrupted by signature gatherers.