THURSDAY, JANUARY 10
8:30 NBC 30 ROCK
Season finale (thanks to the stupid writers’ strike)! Kenneth
gets addicted to “devil’s liquid”—coffee!
10:00 BRAVO MAKE ME A
SUPERMODEL
Debut! Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford try to turn 14 schlubs
into super hot supermodels.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 11
9:30 CMT MY BIG REDNECK
WEDDING
Debut! It’s the classic story of hillbilly-meets-hog,
hillbilly-marries-hog.
11:00 HBO REAL TIME WITH BILL
MAHER
Season premiere! Likeable blowhard Bill returns with a
stellar lineup of Bush bashers.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 12
9:00 SCIFI THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE
GALAXY—Movie
(2005) Based on Douglas Adams’ book, a human and his alien pal
travel the cosmos after Earth is blown to poop.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 13
9:00 PBS MASTERPIECE
Masterpiece Theatre hips up its name, as well as the
cast of Jane Austen’s Persuasion, costarring Anthony Head (Giles
from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)!
8:00 FOX TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR
CHRONICLES
Debut! Sarah protects her son from a bunch of futuristic
a-hole tin cans.
MONDAY, JANUARY 14
8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Season premiere! Michael loses weight the easy way—in a
Panamanian sweatbox!
8:00 NBC AMERICAN
GLADIATORS
A mother of twins battles a shark fisherman. Can’t the twins just
battle the shark?
TUESDAY, JANUARY 15
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Season premiere! Oh, for the love of God… here we go again.
Well, bring on the retards!
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16
10:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
The contestants must impress a super snooty Italian judge in this
show that gets better by the episode!
10:30 COM RENO 911!
Season premiere! Deputy Wiegel has a beautiful newborn
baby—which she is prepared to sell to the highest bidder.