ROAMING THE STREETS
DEAR PORTLAND BUSINESS ALLI-ANCE—If you really want to “help
solve [the problem]” of “roaming groups of street kids” in the downtown
shopping blocks, as that twit Rene Denfeld claims, how about disbanding
the rent-a-cops goon squad and instead using that money to staff
another youth drop-in at peak shopping hours [“Sitting Targets,” News,
Feb 14]?
Big Jim the Problem-Solver
ALL THAT JAZZ
DEAR MERCURY—I was excited to see your article about
Ornette Coleman [“Oh Ornette!” Music, Feb 14], but Kevin Friedman’s
piece is poorly written and displays a questionable understanding of
Coleman’s music. Nevertheless, I’m glad you wrote about music besides
indie rock.
Hello Spiral
CRACKER DEBT
TO ANDY CARLOFF [“But All I Wanted to Do Is Tell You How to Run Your
Paper,” Letters, Feb 14]—FUCK YOU for wanting to call Barack
Obama a “bourgeoisie douchebag”! I suppose you all would prefer “100
Years War” McCain or Shrill Hillary instead, huh? Man, I’ll be soo
happy when Barack Obama becomes president, because there’s A LOT of
unfinished business to take care of. You crackers owe us PLENTY!
Damos Abadon
GRUMPY OLD MEN
DEAR MERCURY—After reading the article in last week’s
Mercury about the plight of teenyboppers gaining access to music
venues, my response to the writer is “You’ll understand when you’re
older” [“OLCC Redux,” Our Town Could Be Your Life, Feb 14]. Wait your
turn like the rest of us, and you’ll be glad you did.
Daniel Blazich
NOT FUNNY
DEAR
MERCURY—In regards to your sex survey, I found it
appalling that under the question “I’ve had sex with BLANK,” that sex
with an unconscious person is even an option [Mercury Sex
Survey, Feature, Feb 7]. In your attempt to be hip and edgy you came
off as repulsive and ignorant.
Shelly Dodson
HUMPING HIPPIE
DEAR JUSTIN W. SANDERS AND MARJORIE SKINNER—In reference to
the Portland Mercury‘s cover art-related article “Crazy Love,”
and your column “Indoor/Outdoor: Some Hard Truths About Public Sex”
[Feature, Feb 7]. Yes, I will agree that hot tubs and swimming pools
are not the best of places publicly; as lubrication, public health, and
the potential of cold-water “turtling” can add layers of complexity and
inconveniences. But cars, parks, and public water closets are
off-the-hook awesome! Yes, my partner and I have been practicing yoga
for a while, but I really do not think that has anything to do with the
ability to suck down, pet, lick, upside-down 69, butt to the glass,
back over again, pump, and grind with the driver’s seat kicked back.
Parks, no matter the weather, are great! I just love being outdoors, as
nature is my temple, my church, my spirituality. Lastly, public toilets
can be funky, but that is potentially the lure of it! Heck, just
up against a brick or concrete wall along a highly trafficked street,
alley, or overpass can be an amazing rush!
Blue-Eyed Storm
A LITTLE ADVICE
DEAR
MERCURY—It is clear that Mr. Sanders is very uncreative
in his outdooor lovemaking [“Indoor/Outdoor,” Feature, Feb 7]. The
car: slide the front passenger seat all the way back and
moderately reclined. The girl is seated, her ass on the edge
of the seat, facing forward. The fella kneeling on the floorboards in
front of her. Outside: soft grass, near trees, under cover of night,
best with a blanket. Aquatic: kneeling in the shallows of a stream or
hot spring works well. Bathroom: locking, single occupant, and using
the sink for support is the only way to go. Use these tips,
and perhaps a little lube, and you can enjoy the sweetness of sex
in outrageous places.
Patrick Monahan
CONGRATULATIONS TO PATRICK for providing a much-needed
counterpoint to Justin Sanders’ dim view of public lovemaking. Patrick
wins two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, and lunch at No Fish! Go
Fish!, where the bathrooms are squeaky clean (just sayin’).