1.A PLAGUE ON ALL SEVEN OF YOUR HOUSES!!! Obama’s campaign gets Shakespearian:
2.HALLMARKING THE OCCASION!!! The card company that invented Valentine’s day and Mother’s day finally comes out with a gay marriage card, so early it’s practically ACTIVISM. Er…
3.TEXAS!!! Is ready to execute a man with mental illness for conspiring to murder someone he never touched.
4.FAT BLAIR!!! The Sun asks, “does stress make you scoff?”
5.ADDING UP!!! Four more ad agencies open offices in Portland.
Also, Obama may finally stop teasing and name his VP. Or not. I don’t really care any more. Good day.