sam adams twitter

Part of Mayor Adams’ “Green Jobs for Everyone!” economic plan is to attract a major sportswear retailer to Portland within five years. Via Twitter, Adams mentioned this afternoon that he’s got his eyes set on a this Chinese company:

sam adams twitter

I don’t know anything about this Li Ning Company Limited but I deeply crave the skills they will bring Portlanders. Not shoe-stitching or sweat-wicking-jersey-making skills but their apparently superhuman abilities to control and commune with fire. On their website, calm athletes hande basketballs of fire, tennis balls of fire and even fly through fire with nothing but the help of inspiration slogans.

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Bring this man to PDX!
  • Bring this man to PDX!

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

13 replies on “Mayor Adams Courts Fire-Conjuring Chinese”

  2. So the Mayor’s economic development plan is to spend public dollars recruiting and subsidizing a Chinese company to move here and compete against the State’s biggest most successful company, Nike?

    Exactly how is this a good idea?

  4. It’s “handle”, Mirk. I’ve learned to love your “It’s OK cuz the spell-check said so” typos, but “hande” is beyond the pale.

  5. I misread that headline earlier (while sober) to mean that he was courting fire (as in something bad/dangerous) by conjuring the Chinese. While still unclear about how the mayor might be able to conjure Chinese, I am disappointed that was not the intended meaning.

  6. THIS!!!

    “So the Mayor’s economic development plan is to spend public dollars recruiting and subsidizing a Chinese company to move here and compete against the State’s biggest most successful company, Nike?

    Exactly how is this a good idea?”

  9. We used to have one. They were called Columbia Sportswear. Vera Katz ran them out of town with the help of her chief of staff, Sam Adams.

  10. How would competition hurt Portland? Nike’s about as worldwide as you can get, dumbass. And if you recall, they’re very much already in bed with China.

    I’m sure Li Ning can sweet-talk some laid-off “creative class” out of their barista gigs. Boom! Jobs created.

  12. Before the discussion gets too heated. “Pitched PDX as possible 1st USA STORE”, as in retaaail. “Can I help you, sir?” is about as creative as anyone will need to be. So yes, Chunty, with a little retraining, I’m sure baristas will qualify to work at this outlet store, along with any Al Bundy wannabes out there.

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