This is a post about No More Heroes 2. I bet you’re expecting me to say something elitist, right? You expect me to insult the average Wii owner, huh? Like maybe a quip about how they would sneer at this piece of art-game weirdness while shopping at Wal*Mart with their brood of six fat children?
Sorry kids. Not today. It’s just too easy to make fun of the “mainstream,” and while those of us born and raised here in Portland are naturally inclined to insult those of lower blood — and anyone who would dare set foot in a Wal*Mart — I want to see this game succeed.
The original only sold, like, six copies, and I want to see this thing earn its budget back, if only so I can be guaranteed more from creator Suda51. Yes, he’s got a great sense of gameplay design, and an uncanny eye for design aesthetics, but none of that matters. I can name a dozen developers as talented.
No kids, the real reason I want Suda51 to earn millions is because No More Heroes 2 is the only game in recent memory to base an entire series of pre-release teaser clips around surrealist masturbation metaphors.
Until Princess Peach starts giving handjobs, the industry needs Suda51.
How many copies did killer7 sell? I mean, I love suda51… but the market for advant garde mind-fuck games is very small.
It’s hard to come up with accurate numbers for how many copies any game can manage to sell, but its been pretty firmly established that Killer7 sold even worse than No More Heroes.
So, roughly, 2 copies.
But look! New Super Mario Bros Wii just outsold COD:MW2! They need to include coupons for the art-y games in those boxes. Fuck, not even coupons… just adds. A .5% sell-through rate would mean an extra 50,000 copies of the art game sold. That’s good. Ninty needs to use their clout for something.
Fuck it. I’m just waiting for Heavy Rain.
Hey, if you bothered to play more than 30 minutes of killer7, you were in for quite a treat. I’d assume the same for this game as well.