So anyway, while the idiots around here were making really boring puppy videos on Friday, I was in Argentina saving someone’s life in a truly spectacularly awesome fashion. It’s no big thing though, and I didn’t think it was worth mentioning here. HOWEVER, unbeknownst to me there was video of the spectacularly awesome rescue, and since it will sooner or later get out that I was the person doing the spectacularly awesome rescue, I figured I might as well ‘fess up, just so you can pat me on the back or whatever, and we can get on with our lives.
Anyway, let me set up the following video: As mentioned earlier I was in Argentina, riding bitch on the back of my bro-ham’s bike. A white van gets stuck on the railroad track in front of us, and OF COURSE, a train is barreling down on top of it. So while everyone else is shitting their pants, I single-handedly hop off the bike, and push the van out of the way, narrowly avoiding getting killed in the process. BUT HEY. NO BIG DEAL.
That being said, everyone was pretty impressed with my awesome and heroic rescue, and at the end of the video, you can see me and my biker bro sharing a big congratulatory hug.
Then we had sex. Goddamn. Hero sex is hot.
Enjoy.
That hug was so sweet!
Uhmm, no, you weren’t there, you were off getting the herpes treatment for my dog that you agreed to get her after, well, you know…
As for people in cars stuck on the railroad tracks, here is a hint: GET OUT OF THE CAR! It is just a car, the train doesn’t care if it hits it or not, at worst you might scratch the paint. The car will be totaled of course, but you will be able to walk away, and not have to be taken away in a hearse.
Why can’t you let me and your herpes infected dog be great?
How’s she doing, btw? Tell her I said, “woof.”
Wait… are we talking about the same herpes infected dog?