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REVEAL—After throwing out a warning signal in the form of a cryptic introductory video, YACHT’s new full-band incarnation YACHT and the Straight Gaze make their first appearance tonight. See them now so you won’t have to hear about it the next day after they’ve already left on tour. MS
w/Bobby Birdman, White Fang, & more; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $5

DAS HASSELHOFF—The only thing blonder, bluer-eyed, and closer to god than a German is a Californian. Opera Theater Oregon retells Wagner’s Das Rheingold (the first in his Ring Cycle) through our culture’s most exquisite medium: Baywatch. Can Larry (Alberich) achieve the Perfect Tan (the Rheingold), and will it cause the demise of Western Civilization? Come early for leitmotif bingo (not kidding) if you want this to make more sense. JC
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 7:30 pm, $15, all ages, through Feb 28

Mommy needs a little pick-me-up! My, What a Busy Week!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)