“They cut my beard and forced me to eat it.”

Thanks, FilmDrunk.

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

7 replies on “Proudly Presenting the Greatest News Story of All Time”

  1. They totally ruined his chance to possibly get hired as the evening-shift Santa at the Fayette Mall last year, and no jail sentence can really make up for that, can it?

  2. I love that when they first start interviewing him the descriptor they CGI’d below his face is “Man Forced To Eat Beard.” Because that’s him. He is “Man Forced To Eat Beard.” Even if he one day walks on the moon or cures cancer, he will always be “Man Forced To Eat Beard.”

    And those robbers … those robbers are just terrible.

    Just … terribly hilarious.

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