In the following video, a Cornell professor gets a LOT OF UPSET when a student yawns too loudly following his terrible joke. Some unasked for advice to Cornell professor: 1) Don’t threaten to make everyone sit there until the perpetrator confesses when you can’t possibly follow up on the threat. 2) Don’t ask for someone to narc their fellow students out, if you’re not prepared to accept their answer. And 3) Don’t ban yawning from the universe. I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. OH! And 4) You’re kind of a dick. That’s not really advice—more of an observation. YAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNN!!!!
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey

*cough*DOUCHE*cough*
Asshole !!!!
OMG. Enough of the macbook volume adjustments. Jeeezzzz.
What a dick. Build a bridge & get the fuck over it.