I’ve already written at length about how hard I’ve fallen back in love with America’s most infamous Guido gorilla juicehead meatballs. What was once pure armchair anthropology has become a self-referential experiment as, week to week, the cast of Jersey Shore try and build their brand by coining new catchphrases and acting like lunkheads so they can sell T-shirts with those same catchphrases on them which, in turn, garners them enough money to continue acting like lunkheads for another season. It’s fascinating!
It’s a coiffed, spray-tanned Ouroboros of a premise that can only last for a limited time. Much credit, then, goes to MTV for figuring out the most natural way to stretch the snake: season four of Jersey Shore will film in Italy!
It’s really the next logical step. If season two was the Jersey Babies celebrating their media success by “taking Miami” (read. alternately irritating Miami while banging the parts of it with low self-esteem), season three is their triumphant return home to an adoring New Jersey that is building a tourism industry around them. What else is there to do but “return” to Italy, the place these Guidos identify with the strongest yet have never visited? The clusterfuck continues, y’all! Get excited!
I love it when people whose family hasn’t been outside the US in generations claim whatever ethnicity their most recent non-American ancestors were. I’m English and Irish and German and Norwegian and Czech, but my dad is from Oregon, my mom is from California, and my grandparents are from Wisconsin, Oregon, Iowa and South Dakota. But I’m totally Irish you guys, let’s all have a Guinness.
I think sending these guys to Italy is going to make some great TV. I hope they run into a bunch of racist-as-fuck Italians and get into a brawl.