Oh no he didn’t:

Oh ladies, how you love your phone. You can just talk and text and talk and text… forever! These days, with the modernization of the space phone, it is just becoming a part of the female experience to constantly have a glowing piece of plastic in your hand or cradled in your neck. You can’t sit with friends, take a walk, deal with servers, drive a FUCKING CAR without tapping your little screens or jabbering away. Now, as a man, I recognize that we are not much better. Most of my male friends can’t walk into an establishment without checking it on Facebook. But there is one particular meeting ground where the differences between the sexes truly manifest themselves in this particular regard. One public place where I can’t help noticing male behavior vs female behavior: Why is it, in cafés, men almost always take their phone calls outside while women just sit there and yammer away in ignorant bliss? No matter how loud and animated the conversation? No matter how many people you’re surrounded by? What’s the deal, girls? Why don’t you respect your surroundings? Now, I know what you’re all thinking: This is such a sweeping, bullshit generalization. This is sexist drivel from some angry, sexually frustrated little man. Women are NOT, by design, so naturally prone to such rude, inconsiderate, self-indulgent behavior. All I’m asking you is, please, fucking prove it.-Anonymous

I, Anonymous: where the doers of evil thoughts and deeds go unreported. Share yours, and get away with it.

Marjorie Skinner is the Portland Mercury's Managing Editor, author of the weekly Sold Out column chronicling the area's independent fashion and retail industry, and a frequent contributor to the film and...

8 replies on “I, Anonymous: Smartphone War of the Sexes”

  1. Ahhhh. It’s good to get a misogynist rant in before 10am. Provides that jolt you’ll need for a long, busy day of woman-hating. This one even includes a women-can’t-drive cliché, carefully exhumed from Jackie Gleason’s tomb and restored for modern audiences.

  2. I am a woman and I don’t do this. I feel the same way as you about PEOPLE that talk/text/email on their phones while in the company of others… it’s rude and irritating. I always leave the room if I need to talk on the phone because I hate it when people do that to me. The only difference between me and you is that I never associated a person’s sex with that behavior… probably because I see it happen with both men and women. Good job on the sexism though.

  5. If your date picks up the phone, you excuse yourself and leave. This is the universal signal that this is a crappy date and they will want it over so badly they will pick up the bill if you leave.

  8. All you pretty women,
    Stand in line,
    Turn off those smartphones,
    And I’ll show you mine.

    I’m a man,
    I spell M – A – N … man.

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