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A baby erupts into uncontrollable hysterics at the sight of someone ripping paper. YOU, you stupid baby, are the reason shows like Two and a Half Men made it as long as they did! You think ripping paper is funny? Here, watch me dust mop the floor, you drooling little idiot! It’ll be a laff riot!!
Stupid baby.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
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This is what we do with Mommy’s silly restraining order!
i am a parent, so i understand what’s going on. this baby is a brilliant pre-cog who can see how he will one day shred his father’s soul in like manner. it is a great enjoyment to his baby heart, which is as foul as his diaper.
I can’t stop staring at the enormous alien head.
Call Child Services. That baby is stoned.