This is possibly the greatest Tweet you will ever read:

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While it may be momentarily uncomfortable, pretend you’re Justin Bieber for a moment. Now, in his voice, pen the perfect Bieber response to this impossible tweet in the comments!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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