Credit: Illustration by Kalah Allen

I was suffering from back pain and decided to get a massage. I didn’t know the massage therapist I was set up with, and he explained that I should disrobe completely and put the provided “blanket” over myself. I was somewhat shocked to realize that the “blanket” provided was a very thin, sheer material, possibly silk. It revealed my every contour. I was very tense because of my pain, and he eventually used a technique to loosen me up. It actually worked—so much so that the pleasure gave me a boner. Upon seeing this (because he’d put me under a sheer sheet and could see my private parts) he immediately walked out of the room. I understand this technique because I have had two girlfriends who were massage therapists. It is what one does when propositioned for sex. I interrupted him as he walked out and asked what was going on, was the massage over? He muttered “yes.” He was playing it out like I did something wrong, but I was so relaxed I barely realized I was hard. Fuck you, old man—you need to provide a thicker blanket. And hey, at least say goodbye.—Anonymous

14 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. Oh, puhleeze! A good massage gives you a boner? Since when? A good massage relaxes you and the last thing you’re gonna get is a boner – unless you’re popping one cuz you’re massaging some hot dude or chick, depending upon your preference.

  2. Mmm… I like girls and have gotten a massage by attractive female massage therapists before. I was quite relaxed and enjoyed the massage… but Mr. Willy didn’t try making a grand appearance.

    I’m thinking the author here was into things with the therapist more than he’d like to admit… my $.02

  3. As a former massage therapist, it happens, and really when neither party is being inappropriate, it’s no big deal. Although I myself would have ended the massage as well once that happened. Even if I KNEW beyond any doubt it wasnt conscious I still would have felt uncomfortable, especially if I were male.

  4. You women just don’t know how good you have it. All YOU have to worry about are embarrassingly erect nipples. Us guys have way more of a burdon to bare. Sometimes, the damned thing seems to have a mind of it’s own.

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