White people invented the telephone, as well as “telephone manners.” This truth we hold to be self-evident. However, white people ruined rap. Here is a video that depicts all of these things.

Thank you, Everything is Terrible.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kmtUqaz0rx8

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

3 replies on “Improving One’s Telephone Manners as Told Through the Medium of “Rap””

  1. I’m trying to follow it. Alexander Graham Bell (no relation to Mr. Don’t Expect Me To Help) dropped acid and invented the telephone. And AT&T paid for all of it! Even the horse’s sunglasses! Highly educational.

  2. Two points here:

    1. I knew this was headed downhill when I saw that the opening title caption card was typeset in the Sand font.

    2. They unwittingly shed light on a true American innovation when they mentioned the sending of space satellites into space. Before that, space satellites were sent into the ground, which rather limited their effectiveness … well, quite a lot actually.

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