Congratulations to our own Mercury News Editor Denis Theriault who became the proud father of THIS last night!

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What a cute thing! Turns out it’s a boy, weighs 7 lbs. 13 oz…. and doesn’t have a name yet?? Says Denis:

He came so fast we don’t have a name yet. Girls names, plenty. Boys names, Not so much…

Welly, welly, welly, that sound like a BLOGTOWN CHALLENGE if I’ve ever heard one! Don’t worry, Denis! Just relax with your family, and leave the baby naming responsibilities to the kid-loving, creative residents of Blogtown!
(Psst! Hey, Blogtownies! Put your ideas for naming the kid in the comments below, and later on we’ll choose the top five, and have a Blogtown poll which will decide what Baby X will be called for the rest of his life! WHAT COULD GO WRONG??)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

69 replies on “Hey Blogtown! Name Denis Theriault’s Baby!”

  17. Fart Sound Theriault

    Theriault Winnipeg Theriault

    Ockmaster Theriault

    Stan of Green Gables Theriault

    Merc’n Theriault

    Not Yet Bearded Theriault

    Rooster Cogburn LaBoeuf-Theriault

    Colin Theriault (this is actually pretty good)

  18. Pops Theriault

    D’Artagnan Theriault

    Kenneth Powers Theriault

    Barack Hussein Theriault

    Liberty Freedom Theriault

    Donald Henley Theriault

    And And And Theriault Theriault Theriault

  24. Whoopsadaisy Theriault

    Mean Joe Theriault

    Caffa Theriault

    (How does he pronounce Theriault, anyway? Like the French? My own vote goes to Boutros-Boutros Theriault.)

  27. Can’t you guys just sell of the naming rights to a major corporation? This seems like amateur hour up in here, instead of getting dolla-dolla-bills to name this thing “Franz Bakery Theriault” or “Sony Computer Entertainment of America Theriault”

  29. Batman Bin Suparman Theriault
    Noshit Sherlock Theriault
    Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo Theriault

    But yeah, your kid’s gonna be named Boutros-Boutros.

  31. I’m with Kiala on the Hercules – but without the s so Hercule and pronounced (/ɜrˈkjuːl pwɑrˈoʊ/; French pronunciation: [ɛʁkyl pwaʁo])

  40. Carlos “El Santo” Theriault

    Beowulf Theriault

    Julius Von Megatron Theriault

    Ambrose Burnside Van Buren “Whinskers” Theriault

    New Column Theriault

  42. Baby X Theriault (As he ages you can change it to Child X, Teen X (he will be a super hero at this point), Man X, Grandaddy X, Dead X)

    Spider Theriault

    Gilligan Theriault

    Portlandia Theriault

    Smelly Stink Theriault

    Sword Fighter Theriault

    iPhone Theriault

  49. Oh yeah, now I see that it’s a boy. You don’t expect me to wait and actually read the post when I come in late, do you? Well, *Todd,* of course. It’s the best name in the whole world!

  54. Chundy, Denis can’t name the kid “Wm.™” without Humphrey’s express written permission. You do realize it’s trademarked, don’t you?

  56. I got no names that beat any of the fine ones offered in this thread but I do want to say congratulations and happy birthday and whatnot to Mr. & Ms. & Jr. Theriaultses.

  58. You should name the kid Torch John Theriault. Because:

    1. What 5 year old wouldn’t LOVE the name Torch?

    2. What 8 year old wouldn’t get beaten up in the schoolyard for being named Torch? Which will toughen him up nicely and keep him from being a four-eyed pussy.

    3. What 20-something hipster (which your child will inevitably, eventually become) wouldn’t want to be able to call themselves “Torch John” and then steadfastly refuse to explain the name?

    4. Don’t you want your great great grandchildren to have a grandpa named T.John. As in, “I dug around in Grandaddy T.John’s pockets and found an old tobacky stub. And he let me smoke it right thar in front of him!

    I rest my case.

  60. Murdoch Pie-face Theriault

    Paco the Chihuahua Who Chased Those Robbers Theriault

    Severus Bieber Theriault

    What What in the Butt Theriault

    Mirk Loves Bikes Theriault

    Of course, if I ever had a kid, his middle name would be Danger, because obviously.

  61. @Reymont: Only if it’s Sebastian Cabot Theriault.

    In fact we should probably limit the search to names of actors who appeared on “Family Affair.”

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