Somehow I didn't see this bigoted anti-car, anti-"liberal" rant from Newsweek's George F. Will until today. Mr. George F. Will is a syndicated conservative columnist who has become infamous for ranting against normal American things like blue jeans (which he honestly refers to as "demon denim.") This week he takes on.... Portland!

Read the whole text of Will's editorial and be amazed at his sneer! He sneers at mass transit, he sneers at people who bike to work, he sneers at "smart growth" - placing the policy in quotes as if it's a fairy-tale concept.

"Riding the aforementioned wave to Portland, which liberals hope is a harbinger of America's future, has long been their aerobic activity of choice," Wills sneers. "Its government has been, intermittently, as progressive as all get-out, trying to use zoning, light-rail projects and high-density housing to cool the planet by curbing automobile use."

Will's point gets bogged down talking about LBJ and how liberals were conspiring against cars before it was even scientifically en vogue to conspire against cars, but as far as I can discern through the self-righteous fog, Wills argument is this: today's government (especially Portland's government) is micromanaging citizens' lives. Its insistence on environmental standards and bike friendly streets and anti-sprawl planning will lead to...umm.... communism? That seems to be what he's implying when he sneers at LBJ's goal to serve "the desire for beauty and the hunger for community." Quick!! We must hurry to replace all bike lane signs with American flags before Portland becomes beautiful and community-oriented!!

Hat tip to BikePortland for the laffs.