To get you started, the Mercury Winter Drunk-a-Lympics
Committee has compiled and crash tested drinking games from around the
world for your handy reference—games to play with friends, your
TV, in bars, or out of bars. Plus, we’ve also included the latest in
hangover cures—since you’ll probably be feeling like doo-doo in
the morning.
So release the doves and let the games begin!
*The Mercury does not literally advise you to abuse
alcohol, and remind you be an adult about this, avoid drinking and
driving, know your limit, blah, blah, blah, blah, SNORE.
The “International Drinking Rules” Game
If one were to abide by all the rules prescribed by this UK-centric
game, you would not be able to say or do anything at all without being
penalized by taking a drink. An extremely restrained sampling of the
rules:
• Nobody may utter the word “drink” in any grammatical form
or tense (drinking, drank, drunk, etc).
• Nobody may utter another player’s name.
• Nobody may swear, blaspheme, or express disrespect toward
the Queen of England.
• No pinkie fingers can touch a glass, so you must drink
with pinkie extended.
• No player can touch any part of their body with their
hand—one must use another player or object to scratch itches, for
example.
• No player can accept anything from another player by hand;
anything given must be first placed on a table or other
surface.
• At any time, a player can drop a coin into another
player’s drink, at which point the owner of the drink must shout, “God
save the queen!” and polish the entire thing off as quickly as
possible.
• A player is appointed the Thumb Master, and can at
any point put his or her thumb on the table. The last player to notice
and follow suit must drink. There are infinite variations on this, the
cutest being the Jive Master, who at any point can do a little dance,
which the other players must imitate. A less polite variation is to
appoint a Question Master—any time the Question Master asks a
question, the only correct answer is “Fuck off.”
• When the minute hand of the clock is on the left half of
the clock face, every one must drink with their left hand, and vice
versa.
See what I mean? And that’s not even a fraction of the rules. To
take on all of them would be foolhardy, and super annoying. However, we
found that just taking one rule (we used the “drink” one) can be a fun
thing to tack on while you play other games. Plus, if you find yourself
unnaturally gifted at playing drinking games, and thus, sober, you can
always just say, “Fuck this, I need a drink,” and penalize
yourself.
Asshole
This card game is common across the US. It’s included for its
essential nature, and a good choice to start out an evening of gaming,
because it establishes a hierarchy that can save a lot of time and
bullshit when you’re trying to start new games and arguing over who
plays first. Here are the rules to one basic version of Asshole; don’t
bother writing in to tell us it’s “wrong.” Variations on Asshole are,
coincidentally, a lot like actual assholes—being that everyone
has one.
This game requires a minimum of five people to play. The first
hand of Asshole is the establishing hand. This will decide who will be
the President, Vice President, Normal People, and the Asshole for the
next round. Seven cards are dealt to each player. Twos are high. The
player to the left of the dealer plays one of their cards by laying it
face up on the table. The next person has two options: (1) to play a
card higher than (but not the same) as the previous card. (2) To pass
on that turn. For example, if a four is played, the next player must
play a card higher than a four, and the next player has to play higher
than that. A new hand starts when all players pass, or when someone
plays a two (the most powerful card). The last person to play a card
leads the next hand. This proceeds until all players are rid of their
cards. The first player out of cards is the President for the next
round, the next out becomes the VP, the next players out are Normal,
and the last person out is the Asshole.
The roles for each player are as follows:
• President: can make any player drink at any time, and no
one may make the President drink except the President. The President is
the first player to start each round, and the President should never
have to refill his or her own drink.
• Vice President: can make any player, except the President,
drink at any time. No one, other than themselves or the President, can
make the VP drink.
• Normal People: These players can make each other drink, as
well as the Asshole. They play in the order they finished the previous
round; first normal out follows the VP, second normal out follows the
first Normal, etc.
• Asshole: This player has to deal and sweep the cards, and
cannot make any other player drink. The Asshole plays last in each
round.
We recommend changing seats every round, and sitting in the order of
hierarchy. It’s less confusing that way, and better for your
circulation. Also, stick with it—by the 30th round or so, your
friends’ true colors start to come out and shit gets really fun. If you
are using Asshole mainly to establish a pecking order for the rest of
your gaming, pre-decide how many rounds you are going to play, so
whoever ends up being perma-President is truly arbitrary.
Aussie Coin Flip
Simple and deadly, this Australian game requires no skill or
strategy, just plenty of booze, shot glasses, a quarter, and the desire
to get really hammered really fast.
Take turns calling heads or tails and flipping the coin. If it
lands on your side, your opponent(s) take a shot. If it doesn’t, you
do. The first person to puke is the loser, and “has to get a smack
across the head.” (Hey, we didn’t make the rules.)
By the way, if you have anything else at all on the agenda
for the night, either don’t play this game, or pussify it by taking
sips rather than entire shots. However, it’s pretty boring to play it
that way, we found, so we recommend going all the way or not at
all.
Bangkok Drinking Game
Start out by standing in a circle with at least six people and a
deck of cards. Choose someone as the Thrower, who will chuck the entire
deck of cards into the middle of the circle. The Thrower will then call
out a number and a suit, and whoever finds that card first shouts out
“BANGKOK!” Whichever card the person finds determines how many seconds
they have to drink. (For example, if a person finds a 10 they have to
drink for 10 seconds (Jack=11, Queen=12, King=13 Ace=14). The Thrower
gets in on the game if they repeat a card that they have already called
out. Eventually you will go through 52 rounds or more.
Keep in mind that this game will suck if you don’t have the right
attitude. It is meant for people who are actively trying to get drunk,
and therefore are motivated to find the Thrower’s cards. And be
careful: After a few rounds of this, your chances of bonking heads
while diving for cards dramatically increase.
Baseball
A combination derived from two of America’s favorite pastimes:
Baseball and Quarters.
You’ll need a beer, four cups, each one larger than the other,
and a quarter. When the quarter is bounced into each cup a different
type of hit is rewarded. The smallest cup is a single, the next largest
is a double, the second largest is a triple, and the largest is a
homerun. If you sink the quarter in the cup, the other team has to
drink that cup. If you miss all the cups, it’s an out. Three outs equal
one inning, just like baseball.
This has a whiff of frat boy to it, but in the best sort of way.
Everyone in our test group enjoyed it, and as far as drinking games go,
it’s downright athletic.
Grenade Master
This is one you can tack onto your evening while playing other
games, or if you’re feeling really energetic, play it over and over
until everyone is wiped.
Begin by selecting one person to be the Grenade Master. At any
point they wish, the Grenade Master can shout, “Grenade!” Everyone must
dive under the nearest table, and the last person to take cover has to
finish their drink. They then become the new Grenade Master.
Like so many fun things in life, this charmingly ridiculous game
gets dangerous fast, especially if you have a lot of people and small
tables, and especially if those tables also have sharp corners. Still,
hella fun.
The Name Game
Sit in a circle, and begin moving clockwise, with the first
person naming a celebrity. “Tom Hanks,” for example. The next person
has to name a celebrity whose first name starts with the first letter
of that celebrity’s last name. “Hilary Duff,” let’s say. If someone
names a celebrity whose first and last names both start with the same
letter, such as “Donald Duck,” the game’s movement switches direction,
to move counterclockwise, or vice versa. No celebrity names can be used
more than once. When it is your turn to produce a celebrity name, you
have to constantly chug your drink until you’ve thought of one.
Harder than it sounds, especially under the influence. And drinking
‘n’ thinking at the same time? Not a match made in heaven.
I Am Spartacus
If people are mincing around, being wimpy about drinking at your
drinking game party (the nerve), this “game” will quickly accelerate
things.
At any time, any player can stand up, say, “I am Spartacus,” and
polish off their drink. After which, every other player must stand up,
raise their drink, say, “I am Spartacus,” and also finish their
drinks.
Though the simplicity of this is so extreme that it barely qualifies
as a game, it is deceptively strategic. Someone who has just gotten a
new drink is extremely vulnerable, so the trick is not only to “pull a
Spartacus” when your drink is almost gone, but to time it so your drink
is near-finished while others are still full. See… you have to be
smart to play drinking games.
Bouncing Ball
Begin with everyone sitting in a circle. Only three words can be
spoken: “whiz,” “bounce,” and “boing.” The first player starts by
saying one of the three words. If they say
• Whiz: it is simply the next player’s turn, going
clockwise.
• Bounce: the game skips a player and goes to the next
person.
• Boing: the game reverses direction and the player
sitting counterclockwise goes next.
We all unanimously hated this game, partly because after playing
close to 10 other drinking games before we got to it, most of us were
getting kind of dumb, and it was hard. That made us feel dumb
and mad. Only play this game if you are still sober enough to
count from 20 backward in less than 10 seconds.
Buzz
This game comes from Iceland—which is interesting because it’s
actually difficult to find games from hardcore drinking countries that
last longer than five minutes, and don’t end with someone vomiting,
passing out, or dying. Some of the ones from Scotland make you want to
vomit, pass out, and die just reading the rules. Thus, the Icelandic
ability to marry drinking with actual math is evidence of comparable
tenacity.
Sit in a circle. The first player says “one,” the next “two,”
etc. However, when the numbers reach a multiple of seven, instead of
saying “seven” or “21” or “70,” you say “buzz.” If you fuck up, you
drink.
Legend has it that the highest number achieved is over 1,200. Which
isn’t really all that impressive when you think about the fact that
those nerds didn’t end up getting drunk, which, we thought, was the
point.
Death Ring
Play this one with two decks of cards. Everyone is in a circle.
The first person draws a card. The next person draws a card. If the
card is related to the first card drawn (related meaning it is the same
value or suit), then both players must drink the number of sips on
their card (Jack=11 drinks, Queen=12, etc.). If they both have the
exact same card, then they have to drink double the face value. The
next person in the circle is the one who gets to count the sips the
first two are drinking, as fast or slow as he/she wants. But, if one of
the drinkers finishes their drink before the counting is done, then the
person counting has to finish their own drink. Next, the third person
draws, and if the card is related to either the first or second card,
then all three have to drink while the fourth player counts. Again, if
the exact same card that has already been drawn comes up, the players
with matching cards still drink double the face value. As the game
continues around the circle, and a card drawn fails to be related to
any of the previous, the ring is broken, and you start again from
scratch. If the ring does make it all the way around the circle, the
first guy gets rid of his card and becomes the counter, then is next to
draw a new card.
Again, don’t end the night with a game like this, because it will
confuse the piss out of you if you are already dumbed down with
alcohol. People who have drunk themselves stupid get angry when made
aware of their stupidity. However, if played in an unencumbered (at
least for long enough to get it) state of mind, this is a fun and
effective way to get to the land of stupid.