HERE’S THE THING about Portland newcomers: You just don’t stop coming! Even after you read all the snide national stories about how Portland is too expensive, traffic-clogged, and filled with bedbugs, knife-wielding murderers, and angry hornets that attack newcomers in swarms. (We might have written that last story and it might not be true.) That being said... WELCOME TO PORTLAND. If you read all those stories and still decided to move here? That must mean you really give a shit about living here, which means your intention is to make our city even better than before.

And we’re here to help! Our main objective at the Mercury is to keep you informed, and show you a good time. Within our pages and website, you’ll find the best, most informative entertainment calendar in Portland, the most knowledgeable (and fair) critics, and a news team that actually gives a shit about people and keeping our local government honest.

So that’s what you can expect every week. But THIS week, we’re once again devoting ourselves to YOU—with our annual “Newcomers’ Guide to Portland.” In it, you’ll find out how to ride public transportation, grocery shop, smoke dope, trick people into letting you live with them, dress fashionably, watch bands, and ride our new bike-share system, as well as discover where to find Portland’s best new restaurants, theater venues, beer joints, and even where to find people of color (like yourself, WHO WE ESPECIALLY WELCOME, YAY, NEVER LEAVE!).

Oh, there’s lots of other advice, too—so dig in and get to know the city we love. We bet you’ll learn to love it, too.