Newcomers’ Guide 2016

The Newcomers’ Guide to Portland 2016

The Official Guide for Those New to Portland, Who Don’t Know a Single Goddamn Thing.

People You Should Know

Portland Newbies? Meet the Portland Oldies (Who Are Totally Doing Rad Stuff)

How to Trick Someone into Letting You Live with Them

Appear to Be a Good Housemate with These Six Simple Secrets

Meet Your POC Communities

Your People Are Here, and Here’s Where to Find Them

Know Your Portland Beers!

You’re a Portlander Now—Drink Like It

Don’t Be a Dope About Legal Weed

The Newcomers’ Guide to Oregon Pot Laws

Hey... Newbie’s Gotta Eat!

Navigating Portland’s Grocery Stores Like a Local

Mass Transit: Reviewed

Succinct Critiques of the City’s More Popular Mass Transit Routes

These Parks Are Okay

Responding to Portland’s Worst Public Park Yelp Reviews

Fashion Do’s and Don’t You Dares

A Newbie’s Guide to Dressing in Portland

Where to See a Play (Without Wanting to Murder Oneself)

Shut Up! It Can Be Done, and Your Date Will Be So Impressed

New Portland Food for New Portland Humans

Eat These Dishes to Get a Taste for the Town

A Newcomer, Helping Newcomers

Advice from Someone Who Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About

HERE’S THE THING about Portland newcomers: You just don’t stop coming! Even after you read all the snide national stories about how Portland is too expensive, traffic-clogged, and filled with bedbugs, knife-wielding murderers, and angry hornets that attack newcomers in swarms. (We might have written that last story and it might not be true.) That being said... WELCOME TO PORTLAND. If you read all those stories and still decided to move here? That must mean you really give a shit about living here, which means your intention is to make our city even better than before.

And we’re here to help! Our main objective at the Mercury is to keep you informed, and show you a good time. Within our pages and website, you’ll find the best, most informative entertainment calendar in Portland, the most knowledgeable (and fair) critics, and a news team that actually gives a shit about people and keeping our local government honest.

So that’s what you can expect every week. But THIS week, we’re once again devoting ourselves to YOU—with our annual “Newcomers’ Guide to Portland.” In it, you’ll find out how to ride public transportation, grocery shop, smoke dope, trick people into letting you live with them, dress fashionably, watch bands, and ride our new bike-share system, as well as discover where to find Portland’s best new restaurants, theater venues, beer joints, and even where to find people of color (like yourself, WHO WE ESPECIALLY WELCOME, YAY, NEVER LEAVE!).

Oh, there’s lots of other advice, too—so dig in and get to know the city we love. We bet you’ll learn to love it, too.