RE: "The Impending Portland Apocalypse" [Letters, Aug 13], in which letter writer MH unloads familiar complaints about gentrification, the rising cost of living, and the increasing challenges to living the old Portland dream of creatively destitute bohemianism.

TO MH—I'm just a little annoyed at your letter. I was born in Portland 31 years ago, and now live in a third world country in South America because I can afford the rent here, and being homeless during Portland winters got old quickly. You blame everyone but yourself for the high rents, and seem to be entirely unconcerned about anyone but yourself. What kind of karma is that? It's called "supply and demand," [and] there are way more people who want to live in Portland now than 16 years ago. Hence, the housing prices rise until the homes fill with the top-crop wage carriers. As the expression goes, "Hate traffic? You are traffic!" You are the reason rents are higher, and also the reason why I was treated like shit in the community of my birth for years as a homeless person until I got the balls to leave forever to South America. I still miss Portland a lot sometimes, as in my heart it will always be my home and my community. Fuck you. Some people lost a lot more than practice space.


MH—Stop whining and just move on. What you're seeing happen here is as common as dirt. And no, the yuppies will not miss you—they will be quite happy being surrounded by their own kind, just like you were happy when surrounded by your own kind. I'm a 68-year-old ex-hippie who has seen it happen in the Village, East Village, Woodstock, SoHo, Chelsea, and Brooklyn. Also in Sausalito, the Haight, and SoMa. What you should be doing, rather than kicking and screaming, is figuring out the Next Place the young, weird, and creative will be hanging out. (Or has nobody told you yet? Maybe they want to leave you behind?) After 10 years here I'm finally done chasing that particular illusion, and will soon opt for the No Trend peace of the countryside. (Hey! We could call it NoTre and start a whole new thing!)

Craig Michaels

This is a magical place where rampant insecurity has been turned inside out into arrogance of such monumental proportions that [MH] thinks that she and her friends are the ones who define Portland coolness. Portland will do just fine without hipster culture and arguably become even cooler, more eclectic, and more tolerant. Lately, people have moved to the Pacific NW for its laid back culture, its gorgeous vistas, its music, its food, its dismal, romantically dreary winters, and its temperate summers. They certainly didn't move here to be drowned in a tide of sweaty, angry narcissistic 30-somethings slinging Casio keyboards, smug looks, and mediocre bands.

Posted by Dr. Meow


RE: Burger Week, the Mercury's second annual citywide festival of delicious and amazing burgers from some of the city's finest chefs. (Uh-oh, did you miss it? Stay tuned for summer of 2015!)

DEAR MERCURY—We are the Burger Week burger eaters, and we demand recognition for our achievements. I know I am not alone in subjecting myself to a strict regimen of three to four burgers a day for that magical week. I personally did 19 burgers in six days. I want to hear the stories of the other magnificent folk who put their tummies on the line for their obsessions with completeness and burgers. I enjoyed getting to see new parts of the city in my quest, but I'd enjoy it even more if there was some kind of burger punch card and certificate of completion at the end of the tunnel. Also, how about a race where the first person to get every burger wins? Prizes are meaningless, honor is everything.


NOT A BAD idea, Burgersandy, and we are glad to hear that your internal organs were able to withstand such a truly triumphant attack by Burger Week 2014! Prizes may be meaningless, but we would still like to extend to you two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater for winning this week's Mercury Letter of the Week! Please do us the honor of accepting.