Two goals and three points - Not a bad way to start the 2019 season!
Two goals and three points - Not a bad way to start the 2019 season! Photo credit Portland Thorns FC

The Thorns defeated the Orlando Pride 2-0 in a majestic performance of skill, speed, and BRASSY SOCCER on Sunday! TAP DANCING TERRORDACTYLS IN TURTLENECKS! KEEEEYAAAAA!

This was the first regular season game for both teams and Portland DOMINATED the afternoon match from the get-go, pressing the Pride’s defense and firing a whopping 22 shots—8 of which were on goal!

Thorns forward Caitlin Foord controlled the front of the field with fevered tenacity from start to finish. She scored her first ever NWSL goal in the 45th minute after a dandy of an assist from Tobin Heath.

Foord started her play here in Portland in August of the 2018 season. She's played for her national team in Australia, is part of the W league there, and was with Sky Blue FC from 2013-2015. She’s always competed like she’s got something to prove, but it’s looking like this seasons Thorns are really gellin’ (like your Dad’s insoles). Remember how sad we were when Ali Long went to Seattle? Keep in mind that’s how the Thorns acquired Caitlin Foord!

Built Foord Tough!
Built Foord Tough! Photo credit Portland Thorns FC

BACK TO THE GAME! Later in the second half, instead of a sending Heath a "Thank You" card for her amazing assist, Caitlin Foord issued her own FANTASTIC assist to Tobin Heath in the 49th minute. NOTHING SAYS THANK YOU LIKE YOUR OWN GOAL!

Not to gush but it truly was one of those magical goals that only Tobin Heath could have pulled off. Her footwork is absolute mastery. She doesn’t just do it, she does it with total style. That GUCCI GOAL won her the NWSL goal of the week!

And it was not just the offense that looked dyno, the Thorns backyard bunch moved fast to connect passes and thwart Orlando’s efforts to move in. Our usual defensive suspects didn’t miss a beat, no matter how long Foord, Horan, Sinclair, and Heath kept the ball far on the other side of the field. Klingenberg, Sonnett, Reynolds, and Carpenter kept things for the most part out of the hands of Thorns goalkeeper AD Franch, who only had to manage two shots on goal the entire match. BETTER BRING A BOOK NEXT TIME, AD!

Huddled up and ready to explode!
Huddled up and ready to explode! Photo credit Portland Thorns FC

The Thorns looked absolutely invigorated and connected on all corners of the field! Everyone got a piece of the action, took a few shots and did their best not to leave any opportunities on the field. But the Pride, y’all, they didn’t look so good at all. What is going on over there? Marta is on that team, Alex Morgan is on that team, and let's not even mention that power couple Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris are on that team. The Pride looked broke. After the match, goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris had some pretty sticky words about her team at the press conference. Maybe it’s the heat? Maybe it’s the humidity? MAYBE IT’S THAT THICK THORN PRESSURE ALL OVER THEIR FACES!

The Thorns are up against the Chicago Red Stars on Saturday, April 20 (4/20 + Portland Soccer = Limitless Possibilities!) This will be the second regular season for both teams and you should expect this match to be a tight and mighty one with the Red Stars coming from a 1-1 draw with 2018 champs, The North Carolina Courage.

If you want to watch the match you need to have a Yahoo sports account that sounds obscure, but please know that it is free but not easy to obtain! Info on how to stream that feed is here!

I recommend following the Thorns FC Facebook page for a watch party. Finding a bar that has streaming possibilities can be tough, but when you find your Thorn loving posse, it’s worth the search party.

Great team. Empty stadium.
Great team. Empty stadium. Photo credit Portland Thorns FC