Do I Have Post-War Depression?

After months of mounting unease and emotional angst surrounding the war in Iraq, many Americans have had to face a startling truth. That was IT? Just as soon as you allow yourself to start enjoying the live war extravaganza, it's over. Think you might be suffering from the post-war blues? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out. Good luck!

T F I like to play "embed."

T F My biggest achievement to date is my collage tribute to dead journalist Michael Kelly.

T F I believe in my heart that Fox News offers balanced coverage of the war.

T F I have invited people to come over and "watch the war."

T F I have provided snacks and weed to people who have come over to "watch the war."

T F I have invited people to come over and "watch the allies rebuild Iraq."

T F No one came.

T F I get shivers of anticipation at the thought of invading Syria.

T F I have been sending hand-drawn maps to newspaper editors speculating on where the chemical weapons are hidden.

T F I am keeping my safe room stocked with duct tape and Toby's Light and Spicy Tofu Pâté just in case.

T F John Ashcroft is a monument to American manhood.

T F I make my roommates practice bio-terror drills.

T F I Tivo CNN.

T F In my free time I have come up with several computerized 3-D graphics of Baghdad, complete with tiny dying civilians.

T F I haven't been to work in six weeks.

T F I can't sleep.

T F I know the names and ranks of all the retired generals who offer commentary on TV.

T F I miss Connie Chung.

Did you answer "true" to ten or more of the above? You may be suffering from post-war depression. Start weaning yourself from all media coverage immediately. People who are suffering from post-war depression often get along well with veterans, foreign correspondents, and Graham Greene fans. They do not get along well with a young Jane Fonda.