Chelsea Cain

Having a Bad Day at Work? Everyone in the world has a bad day at work sometimes. But do they really? Maybe they just think they’re having a bad day, when in fact their day could be better described as “average.” Maybe all those people having “average” days, who think they are having “bad” days, […]

Do I Have Houseguests? It’s summer in the Great Northwest, a time of year when kinfolk flock from far asunder to frolic in the City of Roses. Do you have kinfolk? Are they visiting you from out of town? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out! Good luck! T F There are used glasses […]

Should I Run for Governor of California? After months of waffling, Arnold Schwarzenegger has officially joined the ranks of California gubernatorial candidates. The lineup just gets curiouser and curiouser. Think you have what it takes to throw your hat in the mix? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out! Good luck! T F I […]

Do I Have Rats? It is true that most people who have rats are sad sacks with sick habits, no education, and questionable sexual practices. However, there ARE some people who, regardless of their status, home environment, and hygiene practices–through a series of cosmic jokes and poor luck–can still suffer the indignities of a vermin […]

Should I Be Alarmed? Many people go through life even-tempered and reasonable. These people are NOT WELL. Sometimes, it is appropriate–even desirable–to panic. But when? Want to know when you should be concerned? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out. Good luck! T F My car’s “brake fluid” indicator light has been on for […]

Should I Move Away from Portland Forever? Eventually everyone, everywhere, faces an inevitable crossroads of professional and emotional stagnation, at which point they consider moving to Miami. (It is worth noting that people who actually live in Miami are not afflicted by this ennui, though they do die in droves from melanoma.) Should YOU move […]

Do I Have Graduation Anxiety? It’s May. And even as you read this, millions of high school seniors are preparing to take their last wobbly steps through the safe, warm womb of childhood before entering the screaming white light of the real world. Perhaps you are one of them. Scared shitless? You should be! A […]

Do I Have Post-War Depression? After months of mounting unease and emotional angst surrounding the war in Iraq, many Americans have had to face a startling truth. That was IT? Just as soon as you allow yourself to start enjoying the live war extravaganza, it’s over. Think you might be suffering from the post-war blues? […]

Do I Have SARS? Feeling a little under the weather? Throat a little scratchy? SWEET JESUS, YOU PROBABLY HAVE SUDDEN ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME (SARS)! There is NO CURE. It’s SWEEPING the globe. People are DYING. You had better take this true/false quiz STAT. It just might save your life. Good luck! T F I’ve recently […]