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Thanks for ruining my day, press release:

CULVER CITY, Calif., July 29, 2010—Len Wiseman [Underworld, Underworld: Evolution, Live Free or Die Hard, AND HE SOMEHOW TRICKED KATE BECKINSALE INTO MARRYING HIM TOO] is in final negotiations to direct Columbia Pictures’ Total Recall, it was announced today by Doug Belgrad and Matt Tolmach, presidents of Columbia Pictures. The film will be a new, contemporized adaptation of Total Recall, which was based on the story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Kurt Wimmer is writing the screenplay. Neal H. Moritz will produce through his Original Film banner.

Commenting on the announcement, Tolmach said, “Len has an incredible love of the genre and a great gift for action. He’ll bring a contemporary feel to the film while taking care with everything we love about Philip K. Dick’s original story.”

Moritz said, “I have been trying for years to work with Len and fortunately we finally found a great project that he loves as much as we do. Len is terrifically talented and we know he is the right director to re-imagine Total Recall for a new generation of fans.”

Wiseman added, “I've always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick's short story, and I'm excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”

Everything in the above quotation is total bullshit.

This news makes me feel sad—an existential sort of sadness. Like... like... like this: