IN A PERFECT WORLD—one where angry ghosts stalk the Earth and reap wild revenge on the karmically impure, INXS would be DOOMED. In this world I’m speaking of, long-dead INXS singer Michael Hutchence would haunt his band-mates and drive the bastards mad, shoving ’em off craggy, rainy cliffs or drive them to the bottle and […]
Adam Gnade
Posted inMovies & TV
Film Geeks Are Creepy
Succinct Reviews for the Discerning Cinephile
Film Geekdir. WestbyOpens Fri Jan 13Cinema 21 Portland writer/director/long-time video store clerk James Westby’s Film Geek follows a robot-voiced cinephile, Scotty Pelk (Melik Malkasian) who harasses customers at the video store he works at until he gets fired. From there, he stalks a hot artist, Niko (Tyler Gannon: hot), masturbates into his sink several times, […]
Posted inMusic
Edutainment
A People’s History of HR and Bad Brains
FOR ALL OF ITS epic, crushing, bona fide genre definition, Bad Brains is currently adrift in punk rock’s Bermuda Triangle. A band that hasn’t (yet, anyway) been Joy Divisioned or Gang of Foured into modern pop consciousness, they’re a buncha failed, fried, burnt-out dudes who did a lot of… really… something… things… stuff… that nobody […]
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
WTF’s Up With Berbati’s?! It’s rainy and piss-cold and our basements will have soggy carpet ’til April BUT that’s all the more reason to go out. Indeed, break away from your space heater, leave that ugly blue bathrobe on the floor (it stinks like shit and sheep dog anyway), and hide in the sweaty, dark […]
Posted inMusic
Nintendo Jam 2006!
The Advantage Worship at the Geek Orthodox Church
MY FUCKED-UP EYES, I think, are what ended my videogame career. From the ages of six to nine I spent a good 10 hours a day—20 hours on weekends—sitting Indian-style, gape-mouthed, wide-eyed, a foot from the TV screen, playing the living HELL out of my Nintendo games. But all that glowing TV flash, all those […]
Posted inMusic
Vision and Hearing
A Night of Chill, Cool-Ass, Trippy Shit
IN THE SURGING SEA of nightly fun that is Portland’s music scene, it’s fuckin’ TOUGH to keep people interested. Bands, bookers, venues, and promoters can do one helluva song-and-dance number to get bodies through the door, promising thrills, sexiness, and surprises galore. Lotta the time, it’s a great big stupid letdown, but sometimes it results […]
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
Local Music News and Angsty Suicide Girl Glares I’d like to welcome 2006 into the world. Thanks for coming. You’re lookin’ good so far. Still, you got some big shoes to fill. Last year was great; don’t fuck it up. AND if you’re anything like that sputtering diarrhea spurt 2004, I’m gonna bust your grill […]
Posted inMusic
Grown-Ass Kids
The Epic Evolution of 31Knots
THE SINGER WORE his guitar smack dab in the middle of his chest; that’s what I remember most. And the songs had a lotta changes. They were catchy, but it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. That was back in 2001, at what was once the Meow Meow, that’s now the Loveland. I checked back […]
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
Bands Not Invited Back
All this week the Mercury’s been coming up with our lists of “Things Not Invited Back” for the coming year. From Bluetooth headsets to bald crotches to vegetarianism, we’ve dropped the hate far and wide, telling all those and more to kindly leave on the 2005 they rode in on. So, naturally, this extends into […]
Posted inNews
20 Things Not Invited Back to 2006!
As human beings evolve, doesn’t it make sense that things should get better? Then why are there still so many annoying things annoying us? Well, we’re putting an end to all things annoying RIGHT NOW. Here’s our list of things from 2005 that AREN’T invited back to 2006! Vancouver, WA Take a drive up I-5 […]
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
Holiday Scene Report… It Sucks!
One of the best things about taking over as music editor here at the Mercury is all the local CDs that were left behind. As (now retired music editor) Zac Pennington was filling his mailer crate with pens, comp bottles of booze, and old business cards, he sighed and pointed to a massive bookcase of […]
Posted inMusic
New Age, Redux
Argumentix is Soothing Napalm
NEW AGE MUSIC makes me wanna bust fools’ grills with a tire iron. All that airy fairyness and “dreamy” ambience adds up to nothing more than yuppy-hippie mating music. But sometimes new age ducks through the backdoor, hat pulled low over its eyes, and infiltrates good music. (Listen to most post-rock and tell me there’s […]