The 2012 NBA Draft is Thursday. Portland has a new GM, the freshest bullet point on his resume being “I made the Los Angeles Clippers a legitimate team.” Portland has the sixth and eleventh pick in the draft, and excitement amongst the fandom should be high. “Magic was always…” And Drexler goes into a decent […]
Bobby Roberts
Bobby Roberts is one of the Portland Mercury's calendar editors, as well as one of its film and pop-culture critics. His past career choices included joining corporate broadcast radio just in time for its death, and leaving the world of independent podcasting just before it blew up, but luckily for him there is nothing more stable in the 21st century than a career in alternative print media.
Posted inUnited Federation of Planets
And When They Reboot The Next Generation, This Will Be the Blueprint
Before I proceed, I want readers to know: I have nothing against Jill Pantozzi. She is a great writer, and her blog, The Mary Sue, is one of the best destinations for pop-culture musings; specifically because her insight into our culture is unique, and – considering the glut of samey-sounding, smartassed dudes all tripping over […]
Posted inTV
This is the True Story, of Seven Strangers, Picked to Live in PDX…
The cast of Real World: San Francisco, probably the best season of this now-reprehensible trainwreck of reality programming. I will admit freely, as I’m certain it’s not a unique admission amongst many people reading, or even writing for this publication: I once harbored dreams of being on The Real World. Once upon a time, such […]
Posted inTV
Doctor Who: The Top Ten Companions since 2005
Don’t look at me like that. I put you on this planet, I’ll take you off. And it don’t matter to me because Moffat will go get me another one just like you. The internet lit up a couple days ago when pictures of The Doctor and his new companion showed up online. People oohed […]
Posted inMusic
My Name is Prince! I’m over Fifty!
I wonder what it’s like to be 54 and to know this is what people think of when they think of you Prince Rogers Nelson was born today, 54 years ago. He was funky. He maintained that funkiness until the age of seven, at which point it leapt forward along the evolutionary scale in a […]
Posted inSports
Meet Your New Blazers GM!
Look at that Silver Fox. Rowr. His name is Neil Olshey. He used to be the General Manager for the Los Angeles Clippers. There was a time, not so long ago, where hearing that our GM was coming from the Clippers would be akin to finding out Disney had just hired Uwe Boll to direct […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Is It Time to Allow Moviegoers to Text During Films? Yes. Yes it is.
Behold: The future. Nobody wants this future. Well, to be fair, I don’t want this future, and nobody I personally know wants this future. General opinion seems best summed up in this AV Club piece by Sean O’Neal, answering a question put forward by theater owners themselves at CinemaCon, an annual gathering of the people […]
Posted inSports
SLAPFIGHT! Paul Allen & John Canzano Tussle in an Octopus’ Garden (In the Shade)
Let’s blow one last breath over the guttering flame atop this season’s smoldering bag of incinerated dogshit. And who better to smear the hot mess all over Portland’s porch than Paul Allen, owner of the Blazers; and John Canzano, sports columnist for the Oregonian? But how does a simple internet slapfight come to involve an […]
Posted inNews
Dick Clark: November 30, 1929 – April 18, 2012
For as many times as people have claimed “Rock is Dead,” April 18th might become one of the top 3 dates people point to as the time of departure. While he’s mostly known now as the guy who does the New Year’s party on TV with Ryan Seacrest, Clark – maybe more than any other […]
Posted inMusic
Dead Can Dance: Holographic Tupac Rocks Coachella
Before I woke up this morning, it would have never occurred to me to type the phrase “Holographic Tupac” into Google. Now, not only have I done just that, but that search yields this video: First response from the people I’ve shown it to has ranged from “whoaaaaaa” to “SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING, THIS IS TOO […]
Posted inSports
Paging Dr. Giggles to the Blazers Locker Room, Paging Dr. Giggles
The Blazers’ Team Physician, enjoying a productive day at the office. Yesterday, there appeared to be some sort of thing growing out of LaMarcus Aldridge’s hip that necessitated some looking into. Whatever it was (whether it uttered the word Quaaaaiiiid I cannot confirm nor deny), it was bad enough to keep him out of last […]
Posted inNews
“Hoodie Killed Trayvon Martin as Surely as George Zimmerman” UPDATE: Now With Video
Presented to you without commentary, judgement, analysis, or insight: the words of journalist Geraldo Rivera. This account was not hacked, nor are these images mocked up. These are the last three things he tweeted to his 15,000+ followers as of 8:50am UPDATE: Now with video of Rivera verbalizing his thought process.