“I annoy people,” says Eddie Redmayne to Dan Fogler in the opening half-hour of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the first in a five-part Harry Potter prequel series. Redmayne ain’t lying. “Annoying” is the perfect term for his portrayal of Fantastic Beasts’ hero, Newt Scamander, a shrugging, slumping sack of stammers and tics. […]
Bobby Roberts
Bobby Roberts is one of the Portland Mercury's calendar editors, as well as one of its film and pop-culture critics. His past career choices included joining corporate broadcast radio just in time for its death, and leaving the world of independent podcasting just before it blew up, but luckily for him there is nothing more stable in the 21st century than a career in alternative print media.
Posted inMovies & TV
Fantastic Beasts: Will Somebody Crucio Eddie Redmayne?
Just, Like, a Little Bit? Just Enough to Teach Him a Lesson
Just, like, a little bit? Just enough to teach him a lesson.
Posted inPolitics
No, New York Times, I Will Not Give President Trump “a Chance”
Why Donald Trump Doesn’t Deserve a Chance
Why Donald Trump doesn’t deserve a chance.
Posted inNews
No, I Will Not Give Trump a Chance.
iStock/Andy Katz This morning, the New York Times ran an editorial by Nicholas Kristof, titled “Gritting our Teeth and Giving President Trump a Chance,” the premise of which is one of the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever seen in that publication. Firstly, giving Trump anything is a ridiculous notion. He’s just been given the White […]
Posted inNews
“Replied the Scorpion, ‘It’s My Nature.’”
iStock/scarletsails We forget so much, so quickly, don’t we? We forget that we don’t need to break ourselves before we can build. We don’t have to sink so low to prove how tall we can stand. That our successes don’t have to come from despair, that our victories don’t have to be borne out of […]
Posted inNews
This is Why 2016 Has Been a Real Pain in the Ass
iStock/popiasen 2016 is mostly men throwing an extensive series of fits at the mere idea they’ll have to scoot over into the passenger seat—or climb into the back—as this ride we’re on goes forward. That seems to be the freak-out humming beneath almost every major news story in almost every major aspect of every variety […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Will the Real Godzilla Please Stand Up?
SHIN GODZILLA “Marco!… Marco!… Aw. c’mon, you guys, you’re supposed to say, ‘Polo!’” Since 1998’s remake, the primary question regarding any new Godzilla movie concerns its authenticity: Are we gonna get the real Godzilla? The question’s almost meaningless, considering the creature’s myriad interpretations over past 60-plus years, but people really want reassurance they won’t be […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Shin Godzilla: Will the Real Godzilla Please Stand Up?
Apparently, Real Godzilla Movies Are Talky, Allegorical, and Silly
Apparently, real Godzilla movies are talky, allegorical, and silly.
Posted inNews
History in the Making! Republican-Led Senate Breaks 100-Year Record for Congressional Ineptitude!
During his speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R) peeked out from behind the tissue-paper facade obscuring his refusal to hold hearings on the President’s Supreme Court nominee, Merrick Garland. On that sad day when we lost Justice Scalia, I made another pledge that Obama would not fill […]
Posted inMovies & TV
This is Why Talking Ghostbusters Is Such a Pain in the Ass: A History of How a Bunch of Dicks Tried Ruining the Reboot
August, 2014: Ghostbusters is reported by film industry gossip site Deadline as a full-on reboot of the series (such as it was), starring women, directed by Paul Feig. Its existence is immediately spun as an attack on men and their precious nostalgia by Deadline editor Mike Fleming Jr. in an article entitled “Film Chauvinist Asks: […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Welcome to the Superhero Pajama Jam, X-Men!
It’s never really stopped being 2003 in the X-Universe. Even as the X-Men films skipped across timelines in decade-long leaps, they’ve carried with them the same faint air of apology—a low-level hum of embarrassment softly buzzing inside their time-locked bubble. “This is all really silly, isn’t it?” each film seemed to whisper, summer after summer. […]
Posted inMovies & TV
X-Men: Apocalypse Plays Catch-Up
Welcome to the Superhero Pajama Jam, X-Men!
Welcome to the superhero pajama jam, X-Men!