Dan Savage

Joe Newton Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened our relationship just for her and to females only, so she could explore her bisexual side. I’m super proud of her for coming out and wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed to this, I was naive and figured […]

Joe Newton I’m a heavy sleeper, and my wife knows that, but not so heavy that I don’t wake up when she periodically masturbates next to me and has the bed shaking pretty hard. She doesn’t know this wakes me. How do I handle this? Do I offer a hand (or a dick) the next […]

Joe Newton I’m a married gay man. I’m nervous about sending this question and my husband is afraid you might answer it. I’m a fairly vanilla guy, while my husband is into bondage. We’ve been able to make it work because he’s into a kind of bondage he calls “storage.” On “storage nights,” I put […]

Joe Newton Bisexual female in an open/monogamish relationship with a heterosexual male. My partner and I have some friends in the swinging lifestyle that invite us to parties and group sex events. They recently picked up gonorrhea at a hotel takeover and did not find out until after hosting 20 people at a sex party. So, […]

Joe Newton I am a 29-year-old woman and I have a problem when I have sex or masturbate. I always feel an annoying pain, a stinging sensation in my vulva, at the entrance of the vagina, that does not allow me to enjoy it, as the pain is too overwhelming. Unfortunately, this situation has led me to […]

Joe Newton I’m a 28-year-old queer woman. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, as it was impossible for me to make a physical or emotional connection with anyone after I was raped four years ago. I finally found a very, very, very nice fella. He’s 36 years old, and pretty basic. He’s […]

Joe Newton My boyfriend and I have not had sex for more than two years. When I first asked him about it, he hemmed and hawed. When I pressed him, he said he doesn’t have any interest. I felt like he was not telling me the whole truth. When I suggested he tell his doctor, […]

Joe Newton I have a problem. (How’s that for an opener?) I’m a 60-something cis woman with a 30-something cis man lover. The problem is my vagina is extremely tight. Also, sometimes I bleed a little bit after PIV and then urinating burns, but only briefly. We are only able to hook-up about every other week, […]

Joe Newton I lost my lover unexpectedly last weekend. He was a long-time friend and periodic hook-up, and things were finally starting to turn as serious as I’d always secretly wanted them to be. I’m writing because I don’t know what to do with my desire for him, because that certainly didn’t die with him. […]

Joe Newton I’m a 34-year-old straight cis male. About eighteen months ago I met a lovely human that I’m crazy about. When we started dating, she said she needed us to be poly and I agreed. It was a first for both of us! I’d always been interested—my parents are queer and have been poly […]

Joe Newton I’m a submissive gay man with a 15-year-old nephew. Through his actions and words, both his parents and I have gathered he might be gay, which is absolutely no issue. However, we’ve also recently discovered that he seems to be interested in D/s themes with him as the sub. Besides the occasional veiled […]