It’s a simple, universally accepted maxim: Whenever possible, clowns should be brutally beaten. Some props, then, must go to The Centeringโa one-man show about Davey, a repeatedly beaten prisoner who (the press release says it best) “escapes to the only refuge available: the circus clown within his mind.” That’s about it: Davey, who’s being held […]
Erik Henriksen
With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.
Posted inGeneral
The Baby Issue
Who Are They… Where Are They From… WHAT DO THEY WANT??
Pullout: The Baby Issue
Posted inMovies & TV
Be More Funny!
Dear Garrison Keillor: Please Stop
Back when The Simpsons was funny, they had a great gag about PBS’ A Prairie Home Companion, hosted by Garrison Keillor. Homer, et al., were sitting on the couch, watching Keillor tell his supposedly comedic stories. Stone-faced, the Simpsons couldn’t figure out why the TV audience was in fits over Keillor; finally, Homer stood up […]
Posted inMovies & TV
I’m a Horrible Friend
And Pixar’s Pretty Much Perfect
My feelings toward Pixar are the sort of sick, passive aggressive ones that I might shamefully have toward a friend—a friend who’s incredibly attractive, talented, and popular; who does everything better than me; who I love to spend time with and want to succeed. But—deep down and just a little—I also want them to fall […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Notes from the Underground
The Clinton’s Second Stab at PUFF
A year and a half since its first incarnation, the Clinton St. Theater is offering another Portland Underground Film Festival (PUFF). Spanning four days and 12 films, PUFF has a ridiculously scattershot selection: everything from rock documentaries (Let Them Eat Rock), to footage from Portland’s underground biking community (the “Bike Mayhem” program), to predictable Clinton […]
Posted inMovies & TV
I’m Staying Home
Le Cinéma Des Enfants
Babies are gross. They’re shriveled little things that look like bleached potatoes; they smell weird; they’re notoriously untrustworthy; they vomit and shit all over themselves and you. Yet moviegoers can’t get enough of the things, so behold: Le cinéma des enfants! • Look Who’s Talking (1989)—There’s nothing more adorable than a baby who talks with […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Getting Dumped
Vaughn vs. Aniston in The Break-Up
The Break-Up is being marketed as a bubbly romantic comedy—as a date movie, sure, but one masquerading as an anti-date movie. From the film’s ads, one gets the sense that—despite its title, and despite its stars’ bickering—The Break-Up is made for those on dates, or those who want to be. But that’s sneaky and kind […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Geek Out
Of E.T. and the X-Men
Somewhere beneath the New Mexico desert are millions of unwanted Atari 2600 cartridges. They all contain E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial—a game so horrible that it led to Atari’s bankruptcy, and is largely blamed for the crash of the videogame industry in 1983. Hastily made in only six weeks—so as to be in stores by Christmas—E.T. and […]
Posted inMovies & TV
X-Men in Excess
The Sound and Fury of X-Men: The Last Stand
Wolverine has three blades coming out each of his hands, he’s really fast, and he’s practically indestructible—skeleton full of metal, super-fast healing time—plus he likes to smoke cigars and tear shit up. Logic dictates that if you’ve got him in a movie, you really can’t do too much wrong. X-Men: The Last Stand—the third in […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mercenary for Awesomeness
Give Steven Seagal an Oscar Already!
The back of Steven Seagal’s latest direct-to-DVD classic, Mercenary for Justice, says it all: “Soldier of fortune John Seeger (Steven Seagal) is the best in the business… the business of kicking ass!” Truer words have never been written, at least on a DVD box. If I had to sum up Mercenary for Justice in two […]
Posted inMovies & TV
I’m Staying Home
Steven Seagal: Best Ass-Kickin’ Actor Ever! So far, the Mercury‘s sweet-ass Steven Seagal issue has primarily been about how fucking awesome Steven Seagal is. But instead of more Seagal hype, let’s take an evenhanded, objective look at his competition for the title of Best Ass-Kickin’ Actor Ever. • Sidekicks (1992)—Chuck Norris seems like he could […]