Rusty Nails: Retrospective dir. Nails Fri May 27 Clinton St. Theater It’s the greatest fear of any teenager: A cantaloupe-sized zit, sprouting from the top of one’s head, which then pops in a disgustingly gooey fashion. Those stricken with the ailment aren’t cured with a mere zit-popping, however–it gets worse, leaving a giant, gaping, pus-leaking […]
Erik Henriksen
With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.
Posted inMovies & TV
Lucas Strikes Back
Star Wars is Good Again! Fuck Yeah!
For six years, it’s like I’ve had a disease or something. Leprosy, maybe. A nerdy sort of leprosy. Lucasium leprae. I am, when it comes down to it, an embarrassingly big geek. And the thing I’m geekiest about? Star Wars. I’ve been hooked on George Lucas’ space operas since I was six or seven, when […]
Posted inMovies & TV
I’m Staying Home
Wookiees ‘n’ Wilford
Sure, George Lucas is making a big fat to-do about how Episode III–Revenge of the Sith is the final Star Wars movie. But he’s also promised the saga will continue on TV. It’s enough to scare the bejeezus out of any Star Wars fan–previous attempts to put Star Wars on the small screen have, by […]
Posted inBooks
Star Wars Books
Star Wars Books It’s just ridiculous. For the entire three-year production of Star Wars: Episode III–Revenge of the Sith, George Lucas and Lucasfilm went to Department of Defense-esque lengths to keep the plot of Episode III top secret. Then, almost a month before the film’s release, they cashed in on the secrecy they’d created. Books […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Yawning & Napping
C’mon, Will Ferrell! Be Funny!
Kicking & Screaming dir. Dylan Opens Fri May 13 Various Theaters Will Ferrell is funny. In fact, he’s very funny. Why, Will Ferrell might even be the funniest mainstream comedian working today! MAN! Is he ever funny! And ever since Ferrell’s shtick allowed him to stand out on (and eventually leave) the embarrassing dredge that […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Heart & Soul
Getting Emotional with Jet Li
Unleashed dir. Leterrier Opens Fri May 13 Various Theaters In America, Jet Li’s always been perceived (and marketed) as just one more action hero wannabe. Elsewhere in the world, his amazing Chinese action epics (Once Upon a Time in China, Hero) have made him one of the most famous actors around. To Americans, though, Li’s […]
Posted inSPECIAL!
That Shit Done Blowed Up Real Nice-Like!
Or, How to Make Your Own Fireworks*
* THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY “ILLEGAL.” BUT WHATEVER. “Don’t play with matches.” “Leave that gasoline alone.” “Fire is not a toy.” “No, you can’t make Molotov Cocktails for the science fair.” “Some say it’s foolhardy to combine sulphur and potassium nitrate.” Bullshit! All of it! Are you really going to let some clichéd scoldings from your […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Waxing Un-Poetic
Paris Hilton Visits a House of Wax
House of Wax dir. Serra Opens Fri May 6 Various Theaters First, just so everybody knows the most important thing about House of Wax: Paris Hilton has an awesome death. Everybody knows she’s going to die–she’s in a teenybopper horror movie and she’s not the star, so her getting killed is pretty much a given–so […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mostly Harmless
Hitching a Ride with The Hitchhiker’s Guide
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy dir. Jennings Opens Fri April 29 Various Theaters Contrary to what we might like to think, humans are only the third-most intelligent species on Earth. And when the second-most intelligent species (dolphins, of course) decides to leave the planet (“So long,” they sing, “and thanks for all the fish”), […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Joy of Effects
Kung Fu Hustle, Steamboy, and CGI
Kung Fu Hustle dir. Chow Opens Fri April 22 Various Theaters Steamboy dir. Otomo Opens Fri April 22 Cinema 21 Steamboy, the latest from anime legend Katsuhiro Otomo, begins auspiciously enough. Otomo–who’s still revered for directing and co-writing Akira, 1988’s seminal anime–opens with a bold creative decision. Steamboy isn’t set in either of anime’s clichéd […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Stalemate in the U.N.
(Translation: The Interpreter‘s Not That Great)
The Interpreter dirs. Pollack Opens Fri April 22 Various Theaters Cinematically speaking, there are few things better than a finely-crafted thriller. Unfortunately, said films are also pretty rare–unless you’re going to sample Hitchcock’s patchy filmography, or lower your standards to Tom Clancy’s schlock, you’re pretty much out of luck. I mean, the most recent truly […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Another Damn Film Fest
But This One Sounds… Good?
The PDX Film Fest dirs. Various April 20-24 Guild Theater Hardly one damn week goes by without at least two or three film festivals playing somewhere around Portland. They’re like non-fucking-stop, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing if most of them weren’t so goddamn boring. Aside from profanity-laden, knee-jerk criticisms about how Portland has […]