Boris Johnson: somehow always looks as though he’s just been blasted in the back by a fire extinguisher Jacek Wojnarowski / Shutterstock.com Despite all outward appearances, Boris Johnson is the UK’s new foreign secretary, and not the inspiration for the cartoon character Baby Huey. He’s settling into his new job comfortably enough, with a blistering […]
Matt Baume
Posted inElection 2016
Six Candidates Who Are More Exciting Than the Old White Dudes on Hillary’s VP Short List
What a wild duet. Evan El-Amin / Shutterstock.com According to “reports,” which are never inaccurate, Hillary Clinton’s spending two days cloistered at home to make her VP choice, and it’s down to two snoozers. There’s Tim Kaine, a senator whose most interesting fact is that he learned to be an ironwelder when he was a […]
Posted inPolitics
Donald Trump’s Ghostwriter: The Man’s a “Sociopath”
Are we 100% sure Donald Trump is a human being and not a child’s party balloon come to life? Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com The day after Donald Trump threw himself a lavish party to celebrate the publication of The Art of the Deal, he called Tony Schwartz, the man who ghostwrote the book, and told […]
Posted inElection 2016
Here are but a few of the Reasons Why You Hate Mike Pence
What could be more credible than covering yourself in all-caps slogans about your enemies? a katz / Shutterstock.com What’s the worst thing about Donald Trump choosing Mike Pence as his Vice Presidential nominee? I’d like to think it’s that Trump’s name ends with the same letter that Pence’s starts with, so when you stay them […]
Posted inElection 2016
Maybe 100 Naked Women Can Stop Donald Trump
And these are the MODERATE protesters. Marie Kanger Born / Shutterstock.com We’re less than a week away from the start of the Republican Convention in Cleveland (it begins Monday), and it’s shaping up to be a real carnival of pleasures/horrors. My favorite planned event: one hundred nude women will stand outside the arena and point […]
Posted inPolitics
Gay Republicans now Loathed Slightly Less by Their Colleagues
Nice to see young women getting the respect they deserve from the GOP. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com “Festering” is the word that the New York Times chose to describe the process of writing this year’s Republican party platform: Same-sex marriage and transgender rights are emerging as points of serious strain between social conservatives and moderates […]
Posted inGun Club
Republicans Just Blocked Research on Gun Violence, Again
If only we could have foreseen that something like this might happen. Neville Elder / Shutterstock.com Journalists: from now on, when writing about Republicans who oppose gun control, can we please always make sure to include how much money they’re getting from the NRA? We’re always so diligent about mentioning their states and their party […]
Posted inElection 2016
Hillary to be Endorsed by Unknown Vermont Senator Bernie Something
With each passing day, fewer and fewer of us are. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com Poor Bernie Sanders must’ve gotten quite a scare this week when a bunch of spooky ghosts chased him around a haunted house moaning “boo.” Well, technically, they were Democratic members of Congress in a private meeting on Capitol Hill, but still, […]
Posted inPolitics
Republicans Harrumph Over “Un-American” Acts Such as Breathing
Amber waves of smog. Phonix_a Pk.sarote Go ahead and take a deep breath, ahhhh, in and out. Feels good, doesn’t it? YOU COMMUNIST. House Republicans hassled the EPA at a hearing this week, at one point accusing the agency of being “un-American” for requiring that industries not literally choke us all to death with poison […]
Posted inElection 2016
Trump Campaign Spamming Foreign Leaders for Donations
Take that, miscreant. a katz / Shutterstock.com He’s not even president yet, but Donald Trump is already making himself quite a pest to foreign leaders. According to various international politicians, the campaign has been nagging them with requests for money. This is annoying, to be sure. It is also against the law. No response from […]
Posted inElection 2016
Republican Cakesniffer Likes Donald Trump, Won’t Say Why
You know he’s done when a toothpick comes out clean. Albert H. Teich / Shutterstock.com Here we have Republican cakeboi Tom Cotton, struggling to avoid a question about Donald Trump like a teenager who was just woken from a nap by his algebra teacher. Senator Cotton was booked on Meet the Press this weekend, and […]
Posted inElection 2016
Democrats Unearth New Trump Institute Scandal
The Unicode Consortium does not approve. a katz / Shutterstock.com When a bunch of gullible marks came to Donald Trump, desperate to learn how he got so rich, the answer they were hoping for was probably not “by swindling chumps like you.” You are probably already familiar with Trump University, the weird not-a-university that is […]