Matt Baume

Donald recommends that you remember the name of Joe Pittman from the Daily Post. mikeledray / Shutterstock.com What even is a press conference? That depends on whom you ask: Donald Trump would probably say that it’s an opportunity to hit the mute button on reporters; Bernie would explain that it’s a speech at which only […]

Some quality programming from CSPAN. How did you spend Memorial Day weekend? The presidential campaign spent the holiday getting real stupid in Orlando. That’s where the Libertarian Party held its convention — and naturally it involved a strip tease and an appearance by a man described as “bonkers” by the Prime Minister of Bolivia. Let’s […]

Obviously, Elizabeth Warren would be an amazing president. But does that mean she should run? I’m not talking about this year. It’s not going to happen, no matter how desperately we might fantasize. But wouldn’t it be a pleasure to vote for her in 2016 or 2020? (Provided the country still exists at that point.) […]

Still the same Hillary she’s always been. Krista Kennell / Shutterstock.com Okay, I guess we have to talk about this Hillary Clinton email thing. Personally, I’m hoping that the act of discussing it will be like trying to remember a dream, in that the more you tell people about it, the less interested they become. […]

“Thanks, morons!” lev radin / Shutterstock.com Climate change is real — but only when it provides a convenient reason for protecting the business interests of Donald Trump. Here’s the backstory: in 2014, Trump acquired a golf course on the coast of Ireland. Just a few days later, a storm wiped out a big stretch of […]

We still have six more months of hearing why these are the worst two people to have ever lived. a katz / Shutterstock.com Good news, everyone: when the smalltalk hits a lull today, you’ll be able to groan and say, “oh, did you hear the latest thing Trump did?” Because at this point, Trump doing […]

Great job, everyone. Crush Rush / Shutterstock.com Have you ever had one of those game nights where one of the guys insists that he knows the Settlers of Catan rules better than anyone else and keeps challenging everyone? And then your other friend gets frustrated and yells at him, and then your other other friend […]

“Has anyone here seen my pants?” louise wateridge / Shutterstock.com Oh geez, Ben Carson. He’s like the guy you put in charge of buying beer for the party, because there’s no way to fuck that up, and then he shows up with six cases of Zima. Carson’s latest goof happened in a car with his […]

Maybe he’s just doing this because he wants someone to give HIM a nickname. lev radin / Shutterstock.com “Crazy Bernie” is how Donald Trump wants us to think of Bernie Sanders. That’s Trump’s new nickname for Bernie, joining such greats as “Lyin’ Ted” and “Little Marco.” He also called Elizabeth Warren “goofy.” And honestly… I […]

Here’s one way to think of her: She is both Mulder and Scully. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com If you’re having trouble seeing the bright side of Hillary being the nominee instead of Bernie, maybe this will cheer you up a bit: Hillary’s really into the possibility of space aliens. In fact, some of Hillary’s most […]

“Hey, where’d everybody go?” Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com We’re getting a little preview of how world leaders will respond to Donald Trump when Americans elect him as president: a resounding, “Ugh, no.” London’s new mayor Sadiq Khan recently expressed concern that he might not be able to visit the United States if Trump’s Muslim ban […]