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Good Morning, News!!

OBAMA TO ANNOUNCE NEW SAFETY MEASURES!!! Too late for me, having lined up behind three rather tense Arab gentlemen before our trans-Atlantic flight in Amsterdam on Saturday. The experience revealed new depths of unexamined prejudice. NEW AIRPORT SCANNERS BREAK CHILD PORN LAWS!!! The Guardian delights in the irony. WARREN BEATTY HAS BEDDED 12,775 LADIES!!! Claims […]

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Oregonian Editorial Board: Hypocrisy On Tax Measure Endorsement Knows No Bounds

Woah. File under “I did NOT see THIS coming.” The Oregonian editorial board penned a lengthy endorsement yesterday advising its readers to vote against the legislature’s modest tax hikes on corporations and those earning more than $250,000 a year. The strongly-worded piece, which reads more like a press release put out by the Portland Business […]

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Read The Goddamn News

COLOSSAL IDEAS Expert judges debate five ideas for the future of Memorial Coliseum. ZACK SOTO TOO QUICK WITH HIS HANDS Jury rebukes sheriff’s deputy for head punch. WHERE’S MY PHO-KING MONEY? Workers file suit against Toast & Pho. Plus HALL MONITOR on Randy Leonard’s HIT Squad, and some hot breakers. Fo’shizzle. Read the goddamn news.

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