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Good Morning, News!!

DRONE HACKING!!! Iraqi insurgents have reportedly used $26 off-the-shelf software to hack into the U.S. military’s unmanned Predator drones and obtain live video feeds. AXELROD: LEFT ‘INSANE’ TO SINK HEALTH BILL!!! Evidently the senate didn’t consider the party’s “base” before ripping the guts out of the bill. US MULLS $100BILLION CLIMATE CHANGE FUND!!! Great word, […]

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It’s Senator Margaret Carter Day

City council has tonight honored retired North/Northeast Portland state senator Margaret Carter by proclaiming December 16th to be Senator Margaret Carter Day. STATE SENATOR MARGARET CARTER (CENTER, IN BLUE)—””SHE’S QUITE A SNAPPY DRESSER, TOO,” SAID ONE SPEAKER “When the constitution was completed, I was not included in ‘we the people’,” said Kelvin Hall, a community […]

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Good Morning, News!!

OBAMA: “LAST CHANCE” FOR HEALTH REFORM!!! You heard him. CHINA/US IMPASSE ON CLIMATE TALKS!!! Spicy. MEET THE COCO-PUS!!! Australian scientists discover coconut-carrying octopus. COCO-PUS! A COUGAR FOR TIGER!!! Makes mistress number 14. “WE’RE THE PERFECT PAEDO COUPLE!!!” Says The Sun. A CELEBRITY GUIDE TO QWITTERING!!! It’s all the rage. KELLY RIPA OUTS ANDERSON COOPER!!! And […]

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Rent A Cop Hits Kid With Skateboard

Update, December 15, 3:20: Statement from Parks Commissioner Nick Fish: “On the evening of November 25, 2009, Pioneer Courthouse Square security officers attempting to enforce park regulations were involved in an alteration with 4 individuals. One officer suffered minor injuries. The incident reports have been provided to the Portland District Attorney. As with any such […]

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