The reason I don’t own a Macintosh Computer… Aside from the fact that they won’t sell me one because I call them Macintosh Computers… And they’re too expensive… The reason is because when I’m not around, it’s just going to smoke pot and call inappropriate humanitarian aid agencies for food. This is of particular concern […]
Patrick Alan Coleman
Posted inFood and Drink
The Cheesiest Contest Ever
Say what you will about Tillamook cheese (I’ve heard plenty), they’ve been an economic force in and out of Oregon for ohhh… 100 years now! Yes, I know there are small artisan cheese producers in the state that can outdo Tillamook. But when I’m at the grocery store and I don’t have a huge wad […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Pork Log Deluxe
I’m about as excited to do another post about bacon as I am to do another post about the smoking ban—not very, in other words. But the following video titled “the pork experiments” had far too much pluck (and pork) to ignore. As far as I can tell, these folks are creating a far more […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Support Your Local Apiary
Bees are pretty much one of the coolest insects around. They have a matriarchal society, they have pouches on their legs to store pollen, they make honey, and they sport those awesome black and yellow stripes. But no matter how awesome bee’s are, they can’t tell if a flower has been sprayed with pesticides or […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Viande to be Exclusively East Side
Viande Meats and Sausages left City Market yesterday with plans to consolidate their business on the east side of the river. For the time being there will not be a Viande storefront—it will most likely reappear on East Burnside sometime this spring in conjunction with a new, as yet un-named, restaurant. This, from a press […]
Posted inDrunk
Goodbye to (hack wheeze caff caff moan)
At 10 PM on New Years Eve, it’s beginning to feel like this was a bad idea. I’m more than a pack into my Portland Smoking Ban Farewell Dive Bar Tour and I can actually hear my lungs pleading for mercy. But do I show mercy? No. Because I’m obstinate and cranky. And believe me: […]
Posted inBlogs
Goodbye (cough) to All That (cough cough): Part Three
Creating False Glamor, live from the Matador! 2 PM, Club 21 The closest dive to the Mercury office is also one of the more fumid bars in town. Again, there’s that whole problem with slinking back to the office after lunch smelling of scotch and the fires of Hades. It seems that as the day […]
Posted inDrunk
Goodbye (cough) to All That (cough cough): Part Two
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” -Brooke Shields 9:30 AM, Lotsa Luck I’ve sat down in one of the cushy captain’s chairs in the lovable dive known as the Lotsa Luck. I’ve got two packs of cigarettes in my car and one […]
Posted inDrunk
Goodbye (cough) to All That (cough cough)
Smoke and booze. Booze and smoke. To me, they are inextricably linked. But as we look across the country, the smoky bar is becoming a nicotine stained memory. Soon, all that will be left will be so many thousands of yards of browned wallpaper and grungy beer signs that will never be clean, no matter […]
Posted inDrunk
Resolution Post
Here we go again. The 2008 Hot Men of Medical Research calendar has been taken down and the 2009 Vomitoriums of the Rich and Famous calendar is waiting in the wings (wow, look at Mario Batali’s gold inlaid porcelain jobby). It all feels a little bit arbitrary if you ask me. I mean, if we […]
Posted inFood and Drink
This Year/Next Year: More Questions Than Answers
In this week’s Last Supper, I spend some time exploring how a few of the newer restaurants are dealing with the current economic climate and how they plan to address the new year. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the room to discuss a couple ethical issues that have been rolling around in my head for the […]
Posted inUncategorized
This Year/Next Year
How the New Kids Fared
A handful of restaurant owners discuss their future in uncertain
economic times.