Remember the adorable I Anonymous we got from a North Portland sixth grader last week?
North Portland Bike Thief: To the lowdown beep, whole stole my bike, I was in art camp for 1 week which was all my mother could afford, and that was even at a low-income reduced rate. I live with my single mother, who works very hard for only 9 dollars an hour. She couldn’t afford to buy me that bike, so my grandmother bought it for me for Christmas last year (it was my only present), so I could get myself to school and back while my mother works her ass off trying to support us. Mine was the only bike there on the last day of art camp at my school. Because it was locked up in front of a school, oviously it belonged to a child. I REALLY loved my shiny, black cruiser. That was my first real bike and it was how this 6th grade latch-key kid got herself to and from school, because i’m so beepin’ responsable! The next time your too lazy to walk, think first before you steal a kid’s bike! Then think about if that kid knows jujitsu; because the next time I see you, expect to get your ass kicked!! You beepin’ mother beepin’ pondscum bottom feeding piece of beep. That is MY property, NOT yours to steal, low-life.—Anonymous
A couple people in the comments said they would kick in to help the kid buy a new bike and good news! We set up a PayPal account for the family. The price of the stolen bike was $350, so any donations over that we’ll give to the Community Cycling Center, a NE Portland nonprofit bike shop that gives bikes and bike classes to low-income kids.
Click the button below to donate, everyone! Consider it your good deed before a weekend of drinking and BBQs.
Done!
Also, maybe we should reach for 400 or so she can get a nice lock, too.
did you guys get confirmation that this is legit? I’m happy to donate, but want to help a scammer.
*don’t* want to help a scammer.
Hi mollie,
We talked with the mom of the kid, she seems legit. We didn’t demand proof of purchase or anything, but it doesn’t seem like a scam to me if that’s any comfort.
It seems a bit over-the-top for a scam.
That would be a pretty circuitous plot.
If nothing else, they provided content for the blog. Might as well get a bike out of it.
Although I’m sick and tired of seeing those other freelancers cruising around on their sweet Shwinns. Last week Dave Bow threw a crab apple at me and then rode off!
It’s not a scam–we tried to broker a bike donation, but the offered bike was a little too big. No one would bother going back and forth like that if it wasn’t legit.
I don’t doubt the story, but the letter itself doesn’t sound like a 6th grader to me.
Blabby. I agree. This kid had help from its parents. Isn’t that cheating? When I was a kid, we wrote our damn I, Anonymous letters ourselves, while sitting on porcupines… in the snow!
Anyway, I would give the little ankle-biter two bikes just for the drawing of the cat-like creature at the bottom of that paper.
Done!
Done, although nobody helped me and my poor family when my kid’s bike was stolen. *sniff*.
Then again, my son can’t draw happy bunnies like this kid can.