If you missed the much-hyped Oprah inquisition of doper Lance Armstrong last night, the highlights are here.

But here was my highlight: Lance admits to taking drugs. He admits to lying to millions of fans. He admits to suing the living daylights out of everyone who said he took drugs and lied to millions of fans, especially his ex-teammate’s wife Betsy Andreu. Yes, Armstrong tells Oprah, he phoned Andreu to call her some terrible names. “I called you crazy,” he says. “I called you a bitch, but I never called you fat.”

Apparently, to Lance, the worst thing you could do in the world is call a woman fat. Paint her to be a liar, call her crazy, sue her, sure. That’s worth apologizing for. But, by God, he did not call her fat! You gotta give him some points for that! I guess he’s still a decent person!

Good on Andreu for immediately having her own response to his madness.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

9 replies on “Lance Armstrong Thinks the Worst Thing He Could Do is Call Someone Fat”

  1. Betsey Andreau is not Lance Armstrong’s ex-wife. She is the wife of an ex-teammate / friend of Lance Armstrong. By all accounts, he’s got a good relationship with his ex-wife.

    And I knew he had a bunch of kids with more than one gal and he dated Sheryl Crow for a while, but geez, a search shows that he really got around in his heyday – Crow, Kate Hudson, Tory Burch, one of the Olson twins, wow.

  5. Andreu would likely be far more pissed and offended at Mirk for calling her his ex-wife than she would be at anyone else for calling her fat.

  8. But calling a woman fat *IS* the worst thing you can say to a woman. Trust me, nothing cuts deeper than telling a girl she’s fat.

    The lynch mob over Lance is adorable. You’d think he raped some babies while shooting up a movie theater based on this condemnation. Or what? Are you surprised cyclists dope? Cute 😉

  9. Virtually all cyclists do, but he was adamant about his “innocence”. Additionally he was rotten to other people, which does not make him OJ, but an a hole none the less

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