Wait… HOLD ON! I think I may have found somebody who might actually like this bike seat cover!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=V0mS2Njurp8%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)