This week’s installment of Sexy Bike began with this handcuff lock-loving I Saw U a couple weeks ago. When I spotted a sleek gray bike cuffed to the rack outside hot bike hot spot Half & Half, I had to ask if it was the one from the ad. It wasn’t, but it did turn out to be part of two best friends’ ice-and-fire Supertwins pair.
This Week: The Supertwins
Riders: John Wagner and Molly Oakes
Bikes: Twin single-color single-speed road bikes, Frost has a princely Austro Daimler frame, Flames was scavenged from a Dumpster.
Spotted At: Half & Half on SW Oak
How’d you two wind up with Frost and Flames?
John: I built this bike and then a year later she built hers. They do kinda match. If by match you mean we should probably write a Scandinavian power metal song about it.
Why would you paint your bike gray when there’s already so much gray in the landscape here?
John: Well, I’m pretty attached to the Portland landscape. I like the way it looks.
How do you think it’s different riding around a gray bike than a bright red one?
John: The bright red bike would seem so flashy. I like my bike to look good, but I don’t want it to way stand out or something. I used to have like a caution yellow bike and there was something about having a bike that was, like, that bright that just didn’t appeal to me.
A lot of sexiness is about subtlety. Molly, your bike — not so subtle. What are you going for here? Devil red? Tomato red?
Molly: Red of the beast. Hell red.
What’s the deal with the monochromatic schemes?
Molly: Basically chance. I got a lot of this bike from my friends for free and they just happened to have tape that matched the frame. My friend Juicebox found the frame in a Dumpster and gave it to me.
You have a friend named Juicebox?
Molly: Ha, yeah.
With the handcuffs, are you going more for “policeman” or more for “kinkster”?
John: I’m going for “locks well to poles.”
But that would be a kinkster.
John: Ha, well, maybe that is it and I just need to admit it to myself.
Power metal? That’s redundant. I say that any metal that isn’t power metal is not metal at all. And I say that I am right.
Also, I think you try to include one landscape shot. Week after week, claustro pics. What’s the big picture?
I give up. I just give up.
This is like week seven of Sexy Bike and you have yet to take one picture that would be “centerfold” quality. People want to see a photo of the whole bike at once. It’s like showing someone a picture of your hand and trying to convince them that the rest of you is sexy too. It doesn’t work.
Next time you want to take a photo of a bike, take three steps backwards then take the photo.
How is it that white sunglasses haven’t jumped the shark yet? Or have they?
Gary aka Frost is a fine fine bike but I still kinda have a thing for Alan, aka Caution Yellow. First loves, you know. We never forget them. MM
Frost or caution yellow – what ever. It’s all about the very cool rider!
“Frost or caution yellow – what ever. It’s all about the very cool rider!”
This “regular feature” is such a fucking embarrassment. Please listen to Grant… He’s like me without the inexplicable rage.
Quality is the hallmark of the devil.
This is one of my favorite features. For me it’s about the bikers not the bike. Keep ’em coming!
Perhaps this should be changed to “sexy bike riders”, it would be more fitting.