Every week, the Mercury scours the city for the SEXIEST tricycle we can find, take photos of it, and then interview the rider. Today I caught 4-year-old Morgan Marie tooling around her driveway and asked her what makes for a sexy, sexy trike.
This Week: Nothing’s Sexier than the Classics.
Rider: Morgan Marie Jeffries
Trike: Classic fire engine red Radio Flyer with chrome handles and a double deck in the rear.
Spotted at: Ladd’s Addition
Yo, what’s up? Hey, that is one sweet trike.
Thank you.
Where did you get it?
Santa.
Awesome. Santa is really cool. What do you like most about riding a tricycle?
(Shrugs.)
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Do you ever…
I LIKE CINDERELLA!
Whoa… okay. Yeah, that’s cool, too, I guess. So, that tricycle is a fixie, right?
I like Cinderella, I like Belle, I like Ariel, I like purple and pink.
Right. So, what’s the sexiest thing about riding a tricycle?
MOMMY!!
Okay, thanks, gotta go. Cool trike.
(Have you seen a sexy trike? Email me!)
Can we PLEASE get an actual sexy trike with an actual sexy rider? WORST BLOG POST EVER!
The cyclist herself looks rather sexy, in a callow, overgrown adolescent sort of way.
Pssht! Another fixie rider who believes in Santa? What a caricature.
where’s absolute horse shit guy when you need him?
This is unintentionally hilarious.
This is intentionally and hilariously unintentional hilarity.
For fucks sake you infant hipster wannabe… riding your fixie trike to the playground to hang out with all your jaded bro’s and talk about “Cindarella” is sooo over-played. Get a fucking life already. Grow up!
And drinking Kool-Aid Jammers? PUH-LEEZE. I hope she gets cancer and dies.
Cancer.
Not funny.
NEXT!
ok ok, this is ABSOLUTE Horse Shit!! If you want sexy you have got to go BIG WHEEL! You can’t rip a good skid on a trike. Ain’t gonna happen. You’ll roll it. Just stop with this Horse Shit and get us a damn BIG wheel! ..or better yet make it a Green Machine! Now those are sexy. TRUTH!
I miss Cat Friday.
The Kool-Aid juicebox is probably not vegan.
That girl is a caricature of herself…
Hey, Steve, WRITE A REAL STORY. This is, like, totally unintentionally hilarious.
Also: AIDS IS NOT FUNNY.
BUT AIDS IS FUNNY MATT
Pedalphile.
I suppose that chick is sexy enough if you’re into that sort of thing (not my cuppa). But I’m sorry that outfit is a total disaster! It’s like a watermelon exploded in a necco wafer factory. Pink and green? Ugh! SO 2003!
she’s not a hipster. no u-lock in her back pocket, no pabst.
This is my favorite.
WOW, the Mercury again shows how pathetic it really is…trying to attract pedophiles to review their posts. The Mercury is worthless and only attracts people who cannot think for themselves. The Mercury should be ashamed…”sexiest tricycle” WTF???
popiggies po-po popiggies etcetera
Even a crusty old salt such as I have a soft spot for a two year old on a stiffy.
Oh, I say, that could be misconstrued, what! Disregard my comment, and Wilberforce, what ever you do DO NOT click on preview comment.
Oh I say, Wilberforce, did you click preview in revenge for me outing you? Well, you had it coming, you know. Not at all the polite thing to do when employed as village priest. Village idiot like that bloke, Jacomus, yes, but not the village priest.
Not in the slightest funny.
Next!